The truth hurts. It stings. It burns. Facing reality about a relationship is one of the hardest things to do.

We make excuses all the time for why things aren’t working out the way we hope. Why isn’t he calling? He’s busy. Why doesn’t he want to touch me? He’s tired. Why doesn’t he want to go out with me tonight? He’s got too much work to do.

Oh, just face it. Maybe he’s just not that into you.

That’s the title of a new book, which was penned by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, who both worked on the hit HBO show, “Sex and the City.”

And it’s an eye-opener for those of us with a tendency towards the delusional. Which would be most of us.

I paged through this book recently. Surely I was totally up front with myself about my past relationships, right?

Even the first chapter, “He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out” kind of stung.

OK, OK, so there was the guy who was very friendly when we bumped into each other out on the town, but never asked me for my phone number. He’s just shy, I figured. Wrong. He just wasn’t that into me.

Then there’s the “He’s just not that into you if he’s not having sex with you” and the “He’s just not that into you if he’s having sex with someone else” chapters. Ouch. That one hurt, too. Unless you have mutual religious beliefs, adult relationships nowadays usually mean there’s a physical element – and at the very least some affection. I realize now that because it took an act of Congress just to get a little hand-holding action and a good-night peck, he just wasn’t that into me.

As Greg and Lisa write, when men like you, they want to touch you always.

And there’s the “He’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk” chapter. Hoo-boy, that’s one I’ve seen a few times – and really, who hasn’t? When guys act defensive because you’re not willing to split a 30-pack of Michelob Light at noon, or call at 1 a.m. after their third vodka-and-Kool-Aid, it’s time to realize he’s not that into you if his judgement has to be impaired in order to hang out with you.

These chapters are pretty funny for casual dating and all. But it’s scary when women need to be told men just aren’t into them if they’re married (or some variation of that) to someone else, if they tell you they don’t want to see you anymore, if they tell you they don’t want to get married, and if they bully you.

Yeah, it all hurts, stings, burns and makes us feel awful. But, as Greg writes at the end of the book, coming to terms with the fact that someone’s just not that into us is a very freeing thought. If he’s just not that into you, move on and find the one who is.

Catelle picks Bachelorette

Bangor’s Bachelor, Erik Catelle, has found his Bachelorette. And the winner is … Michelle, a 21-year-old student, according to the contest web site at www.downtownme.com.

Catelle, a 26-year-old who is the director of sales and a partner in MaineEats.com and a part-time bartender, announced his choice at last weekend’s Halloween “Spooktacular” at the Millennium Events Center in Palmyra.

Back in September Catelle was named Bangor’s Bachelor by virtue of a contest sponsored by local radio station WWBZ (97.1 FM), which is known as B97. Catelle was picked from a group of six semifinalists. He, in turn, had to pick his bachelorette from a group of six in a kind of scaled-down version of reality TV shows like “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.”

The Halloween party was the culmination of six dates Catelle attended with the women. A few days after each date he eliminated one bachelorette until he was left with a decision between Amber, who is listed as a 22-year-old student, and Michelle.

The dates were held at area locations such as the Bear Brew Pub in Orono, the Chocolate Grill in Old Town, the Sea Dog Brewing Company in Bangor, the Sports Arena in Hermon, the Peaks Hill Dance Lodge in Dedham, and Angles Hair & Massage in Bangor (if you count getting a rubdown as an actual date).

Good luck, Erik and Michelle.

Jessica Bloch can be reached at jbloch@bangordailynews.net.