In theaters

ALFIE, directed by Charles Shyer, written by Elaine Pope and Charles Shyer, based on the film and the stage play by Bill Naughton, 103 minutes, rated R.

So, what’s it all about, this movie, “Alfie”? Is it still for the moment we live? It is after significant changes were made to the 1966 original, which made Michael Caine a star. That film was released at the height of the sexual revolution and it was viewed as a grim comedy, with Caine’s swaggering lothario bedding “birds” all over London, regardless of whether they were nesting with another or flying solo.

For Alfie, it didn’t matter. His life was about the hedonistic joy of the conquest – morality be damned. By the end of the movie, he is faced with the ugly ramifications of his behavior – a backstreet abortion for one of his mistresses, and the idea that Shelley Winters, of all people, dumps him. Still, there’s never any question that the sting Alfie feels at those moments will prevent him from reverting back to his old lifestyle.

He is, after all, who he is.

It was a difficult role to pull off, and Caine was rewarded with an Academy Award nomination for his performance. Skillfully, he managed to be likable in a wholly unlikable role.

Now, 38 years later, it’s safe to say that things have changed a bit. In the face of AIDS, post-feminism and the touchy air of hysteria that tends to accompany political correctness, the culture has redeveloped a sexual and moral conscience. Sometimes, that might be helpful – such as when trying to win an election, for instance – but it’s still contrary to everything “Alfie” was about.

Now set in New York City, this new “Alfie” has been Americanized by director Charles Shyer, which means that Alfie, now played by Jude Law, is going to have to eat his share of crow after recklessly bedding so many birds.

Along the way, he’ll be hammered with a fistful of life lessons, which will get under his skin to teach him what life is all about. He also will have to learn from his mistakes until the truth of who he is startles him into change.

It’s all unfortunate. What Shyer is ignoring is that Caine’s Alfie is still very much alive and burning his share of bridges with women today. He’s taken a still recognizable social rascal and turned him into a neutered, apologetic wimp.

The movie does mirror the culture in its interest in handsome, forgettable people moving glumly through beautiful rooms, but like a Prada ad, those sterile images are manufactured, they try too hard to be hip, and they become colorless onscreen.

A schmaltzy ending tries to bring retribution and transformation to a messy life, but it’s not steeped in anything real. There’s only the sense that the movie softens Alfie and slumps into apologia because it would test well with today’s audiences, which demand retribution.

Law is punchy in a role that, mirroring the original, finds him directly addressing the camera with reflections on his free-wheeling lifestyle, but he’s too remote to be sympathetic and he has none of the dirty, bemused charm that carried Caine.

The cast of fine actresses – Marisa Tomei, Susan Sarandon, Jane Krakowski, Nia Long and Sienna Miller – join “Alfie” in that none of them is allowed to be especially memorable. Sarandon almost becomes the exception, but by the time she turns interesting, it’s too late to care.

Grade: C-

On video and DVD

THE STEPFORD WIVES, directed by Frank Oz, written by Paul Rudnick, 93 minutes, rated PG-13.

Back in 1975, when Ira Levin’s novel “The Stepford Wives” was a feel-good horror movie for men, women’s lib was riding a crest, pop culture was immersed in working-girl chic, and alpha males everywhere were running like hell from all of it.

For them, the idea of turning their newly headstrong wives into subservient, robotic slaves was as intoxicating as grabbing the brass ring in the bedroom, a necessary fix that would heal their threatened masculinity, get their dinner on the table on time, and improve their withering sex lives. It was a movie the original Alfie would have loved.

Now, three decades later, with two incomes necessary to support most families, a new version of the tale has hit video stores, but what to do with a storyline that seems so, well, 30 years ago?

For director Frank Oz, it wasn’t a horror movie he envisioned, but a $90 million black comedy for women, with Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, Glenn Close and Christopher Walken rounding out the laughs.

Tough to beat that cast, so it’s a drag that the movie let’s them down. As written by Paul Rudnick, who wields one of the cattiest pens in Hollywood, this new version of “The Stepford Wives” suggests he might want to freshen his ink.

The movie packs only a handful of sharp one-liners, most of which are divided between Midler and Close, who do their best to steal the show. Otherwise, the film is an uneven, scattershot affair whose game cast clearly came to have fun, in spite of the script’s unwillingness to let them do so. Other problems mar the production – a clunky ending, wish-washy directing – but in the end, what’s really missing is a comment on the state of feminism and suburbia. Are they the great demons some feared them to be in 1975? The film doesn’t answer and as such, it loses its edge.

Grade: C

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, 5:30 p.m. Thursdays on WLBZ 2 Bangor and WCSH 6 Portland, and are archived at RottenTomatoes.com. He may be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

The Video/DVD Corner

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores. Those capped and in bold print are new to video stores this week.

Against the Ropes – D

The Alamo – D

Around the World in 80 Days – D

At Home at the End of the World – B+

Barbershop 2: Back in Business – B+

THE CLEARING – C+

Dawn of the Dead – A-

The Day After Tomorrow – B

Dogville – B

Ella Enchanted – B

Envy – D

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – A-

Fahrenheit 9/11 – A-

Fog of War – A

Garfield: The Movie – C+

The Girl Next Door – C+

Home on the Range – C-

House of Sand and Fog – B+

The Human Stain – D

Jersey Girl – C+

Johnson Family Vacation – D

Kill Bill Vol. 2 – B

The Ladykillers – B+

Laws of Attraction – C-

Man on Fire – B

Mean Girls – B+

Miracle – B+

Monster – A

The Punisher – C

Raising Helen – C+

Shrek 2 – B

THE STEPFORD WIVES – C

Soul Plane – D

Super Size Me – C-

Taking Lives – C

13 Going On 30 – B

The Triplets of Belleville – A

Twisted – D-

Van Helsing – B

Walking Tall – C

White Chicks – C-