Son’s suicide leads parents to speak out

CAPE ELIZABETH – The parents of a Cape Elizabeth teenager who took his life four months ago wonder whether their son’s death could have been prevented.

Tim and Nancy Thompson told the Maine Sunday Telegram that their 18-year-old son, Timmy, had likely been suffering from bipolar disease and deep depression.

A month before his death in July, Timmy had stopped taking medication prescribed to ease his mood swings. His parents now say they wish they had gotten more advice from his psychiatrists about the importance of mood-stabilizing drugs.

Suicide is Maine’s second-leading cause of death among youths. The state’s rate is the highest in New England and well above the national average.

The Thompsons have been speaking out about teen suicide and mental illness, and they hope to engage in a dialogue on the issue with local and state counseling agencies.

The revelation that Timmy shot himself stunned his friends. It left them wondering what led one of the most popular kids in town, one with loving parents, four siblings and a home that bustled with activity and laughter, to end his life.

Two days later, Timmy’s parents arranged for grief counselors to come to town. At a community gathering, Tim Thompson stood before 300 kids, teenagers, parents and teachers.

“I am not ashamed of my son,” Thompson told the crowd. “He died of an illness. He was suffering from depression.”

The willingness of Timmy’s parents to speak about their son and his sickness started a communitywide conversation about the painful and often taboo subjects of suicide and mental illness.

“What this family did is the definition of courage,” said Robert Gebbia, director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. “There is still so much stigma and shame about suicide.

“But as more families speak out, the more attitudes will change.”

For the Thompsons, talking about their son’s sickness and suicide is about healing. By comforting others, they comfort themselves.

“This is what Timmy would have wanted, for us to help others,” Tim Thompson said. “I refuse to be bitter and angry about my son’s death.”