AND ANOTHER THING …

After urging voters to “come home” now that the election has passed, Green Party leader Pat LaMarche last week contrasted the Greens from the major parties, saying, “It’s for everyone who feels like they’ve been left in the shade of those parties’ butt cheeks,” thereby giving new meaning to the concept of a rump party.

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Maine’s new Senate president, Beth Edmonds, is from Freeport; its new speaker, John Richardson, from Brunswick. The party leaders in the House are from Sanford (David Bowles) and Portland (Glen Cummings); in the Senate, the Democratic leader, Michael Brennan, is from Portland, but, finally, Republican Leader Paul Davis, is from Sangerville. Word that the first bill this session would order Sen. Davis to move to Cumberland County has yet to be confirmed.

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WGME in Portland reports that Gorham Burger King workers recently were pleading for the return of their 8-foot, inflatable SpongeBob Square-pants, which had been stolen from the roof of the restaurant. Hmmm. Without pointing fingers, Gorham is a college town, filled with young men, all of whom, no doubt, wish to be thought of as spongeworthy.

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Within the $338 billion spending bill passed by Congress last week is $2 million for the government to buy back the former presidential yacht Sequoia. The current owners of the boat, which was sold 30 years ago, spent $5 million restoring it and provide private tours ($10,000 for up to four hours) for the well-to-do. Perhaps Congress was confused when the president talked about an ownership society.

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Two scientists in the journal Nature say people evolved from ape-like creatures because of their need to cover long distances by running. They point to a dozen anatomical examples – tendon and leg length, disc size – as evidence and one of the researchers says that big buttocks are also important. “Have you ever looked at an ape? They have no buns,” says biologist Dennis Bramble, perhaps explaining why the big butt-cheeked major parties have an evolutionary advantage even public campaign funding couldn’t overcome.