If my life were a comic strip, it would be a cross between “Blondie” and “Brenda Starr: Reporter” with a little of the drama of “For Better or Worse” thrown into the mix.

Notice I didn’t mention “Mark Trail.”

Until last week, my knowledge of the sportsman’s world didn’t stretch far beyond camo and ammo. Which is why, on a recent foray to find great gift ideas for the hunters and fishermen (and fisherwomen) on so many people’s Christmas lists, I enlisted the help of Bangor Daily News outdoor columnist John Holyoke.

We only went as far as Van Raymond Outfitters in Brewer, Dick’s Sporting Goods in Bangor and the Old Town Trading Post, but we might as well have hopped the Atlantic to France, Spain and Germany. I didn’t speak the language, but John served as my tour guide and translator.

At our first stop, Van Raymond Outfitters, the Bucket Buddy ($32.99) immediately caught my eye. It’s an insulated bait bucket (for ice fishing) with a padded top that doubles as a seat and a set of pockets for gear. Infinitely useful and affordable, this contraption is perfect for a quick day on the ice, when you don’t want to lug a lot of stuff onto the pond. Plus, it’s made in Biddeford.

If you’re feeling flush, you could buy your sweetie a power ice auger for $389.99, or you could pick up a hand-crank model for $60. Ice augers I recognized, and I know my way around a traditional checked wool jacket, but as soon as we walked upstairs into the hunting realm, I was out of familiar territory. Fortunately, the guys at Van Raymond know everything, so if you’re confused, just ask them.

I learned the merits of different tree stands – ladder vs. climbers – and the reason why some cost $89.99 while others run upward of $250. John explained that the turkey hunt is the fastest-growing season in Maine. Of course, I was drawn to the Smitty’s custom turkey call, made in Bradford ($39.99). The wooden call features a lovely hand-painted winter motif, but if the hunter in your life doesn’t care about aesthetics, there are plenty of less expensive models, such as the $7.99 True Hoot, that will get the job done.

For an unexpected gift, John suggested springing for a stuffed animal – and I’m not talking teddy bears here. If he’s going to put the head of a deer, bear or moose on the wall anyway, it would be a sweet surprise for him to show up at the taxidermist to find his trophy already paid for.

That’s a grand gesture, but reasonably priced gifts and stocking stuffers abound. A compass is always nice, as is a head lamp (check Epic Sports for a wide variety of options), a first-aid kit (I like the Life Pac survival kit, $9.99 and made in Bangor), and fly-fishing supplies. An upgrade in a fly-tying vise is always nice, as is a pair of surgical-grade tweezers or tungsten carbide scissors ($6.50 and $24, respectively). All of those bright feathers and furs are appealing, but John said it’s best to let the person tying the flies decide what she needs in terms of raw materials.

The same goes for archery. Dick’s Sporting Goods has a great selection of supplies for the bow hunter, but since said bow needs to be fitted to said hunter, it’s not a good idea for a surprise gift. But you can buy a bargain target for $24.99 or an anatomically correct deer target for as much as $180.

For the budding fisherman, try the Scooby-Doo or Barbie rod and reel kit for $11.99, or the Ready Tackle kit for $14.99.

For people who take to the woods for long periods of time, there are coolers that keep ice frozen, and thus food cold, for up to five days. Dick’s has the Igloo Ultracold 70 for $49.99. Cool.

But if warmth is the goal – for hunters or fishermen – Under Armour can’t be beat. Better than long undies, the breathable T-shirts, tights, undergarments and fleece tops are great layering pieces. Men’s shirts start at $34.99, while pants hover around $60. On the other end of the spectrum, hand and foot warmers make a great stocking stuffer for 99 cents apiece.

Say you’re shopping for the fisherman who has everything. What to buy? Try a portable ice fishing shed – Old Town Trading Post has five lightweight models that range in price from $259 to $499. John and I both got a kick out of Finicky’s Fish Factory, a mechanized box that sits over the ice hole, automatically jigs the lure, and sends up a flag when you’ve landed The Big One. It costs $100, and it’s very popular.

My favorite find at the trading post, however, was the squirrel feeder, which looks like a birdhouse with a big jar attached ($21.99). You put the food in the jar and watch as the squirrel nibbles peanuts, rather than your bird food.

Now that’s my idea of outdoor recreation.

This shopping trip did expand my sporting horizons, though. I may just pick up a rod and reel next spring, but I don’t think my outdoor prowess will ever be worthy of Mark Trail. That’s OK – between his wife, Cherry, and Kelly, who may be up to no good, he has enough women in his life. And besides, none of them would be caught dead at the mall.

ShopNotes

If you’re looking for the wildly popular i.d. Bare Escentuals powder foundation, made from minerals, you don’t have to schlep to Sephora in Boston to buy it anymore. Katie Narofsky at Defining Design salon and day spa in Brewer now sells the line. For information, call 989-8200.

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476. Tune in to ShopGirl at 5 p.m. Fridays on WLBZ-2.1