But you still need to activate your account.
BANGOR – Opportunity arrived in the form of a 32-foot Winnebago.
The big blue “Jeopardy” Brain Bus pulled into the Airport Mall on Monday, as part of the show’s annual search for a wide range of contestants.
For myself, along with hundreds of others, it was a shot at game-show stardom, a chance for those who couldn’t sing or eat disgusting foods to gain 15 minutes (or in this case, 22 minutes) of fame.
If you build a mock set, they will come.
And so they did, beginning at noon for the 5 p.m. kickoff of the event. Those waiting snaked along two wings and a lengthy corridor at the mall. The lines were the longest ever seen at the venue, even longer than the average day’s queues at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles.
We were all waiting for the 10-question pre-test, the first step to the Mensa of game shows and the chance to meet its charismatic host, Alex Trebek. Our ultimate destination: a vacant storefront (pick one) which had been set up with long tables on all four sides.
As 5 p.m. loomed, Brain Bus staffers furiously worked to set up the mock version of the “Jeopardy” big board, where contestants could test their skills for fun, three at a time. Other “Jeopardy” folk and workers from host station WVII Channel 7 wove in and out of the line, handing out Day-Glo orange armbands to those seeking to take the pre-test.
At last zero hour arrived, and the first 40 or so, including myself, filed into the room. We had five minutes to answer 10 questions, and either pass or fail. The cutoff score wasn’t announced, nor were contestants told their scores.
I flipped the lavender paper, and felt my chance at the big time fade away. Question one concerned ancient history, the second an obscure invention. So much for my master’s degree in pop culture. Two blanks right off the bat.
Then I got on a roll, correctly answering (at least I thought) the next seven.
Finally, horror of horrors, a TV question to which I didn’t know the answer. How will I live it down? Another blank. (The answer came to me two hours later, on the ride home. Would it have made the difference? That really doesn’t matter now.)
After hoping beyond hope for inspiration for another minute, I handed it in. “I’m sorry, you didn’t pass,” the man correcting the test informed me.
I found out afterward that only about 10 percent pass the pre-test. Rebecca Urbstein, the executive director of promotions for “Jeopardy,” told me that the pre-test questions are purposely harder than those on the show because “we want contestants that can go on and win a lot of money.” (Small solace, that.)
Coming shell-shocked out of the room, I immediately got on line to play the mock version. It was time for some redemption.
In the mock version, each trio of contestants. clutching their official “Jeopardy” buzzers, got to answer five questions, given by Clue Crew members Sarah Whitcomb and Cheryl Farrell. Afterward, they were invited up to grab some “Jeopardy” swag, including T-shirts, hats, key chains and water bottles. (The home games were reserved for those willing to write and sing two verses of lyrics to the “Jeopardy” theme song.)
Finally, after about 15 minutes, it was my turn in the limelight. The first answer came up, and the screens immediately went blank, due to some kind of electronic failure. (Maybe, God, I should try out for “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” instead?)
That left Whitcomb and Farrell to vamp and stall, fielding questions from the audience. Most were about everyone’s favorite Canadian, Alex Trebek. “Alex’s favorite vegetable? Okra.”
The pair are old hands at this, as Clue Crew members for the past four years. They go with the Brain Bus to about a dozen cities a year, of all different sizes.
“It’s a great chance to see the fans of the show in person, to see their excitement,” Whitcomb said.
The two also film clues for the show, and that activity has taken them to 12 countries, 43 states and 100 different cities.
After a seemingly interminable time, the answer screens were working again, and I was on, and soon in the zone. Even though I have a face for radio and a voice for newspapers, I was on a roll.
“What is Gatorade?”
“Who is Eminem?”
“Who is James Taylor?”
“Who is Elle McPherson?”
I got the first four before the man beside me buzzed in with the fifth question. But I didn’t care, because I knew I coulda been a contenduh.
Then Urbstein burst my balloon, explaining that the mock “Jeopardy” questions were simpler than those on the show, because people of all ages take part.
For the rest of my time there, I kept hearing the lyrics to the Weird Al Yankovic novelty hit “I Lost at Jeopardy”:
“Well, I knew I was in trouble now
My hope of winning sank
Oh, ’cause I got the Daily Double now
And then my mind went blank
I took Potpourri for one hundred
And then my head started to spin
Well, I’m givin’ up Don Pardo
Just tell me now what I didn’t win, yeah, yeah”
Onward, the people in the pre-test line shuffled, like cattle headed for slaughter. And after 950 tried out over 21/2 hours, that was largely the case, with only 90 getting called back for a longer audition the next day, at the Harborside Hotel in Bar Harbor.
Whitcomb explained that those formal auditions started with a 50-question test, in a like number of categories. Those passing that would take part in a mock game, “to see if they have what it takes to go on the show.”
In the end, 12 ended up surviving to go into the pool of potential future “Jeopardy” contestants. “That’s higher than the national average,” Urbstein said cheerily.
Alas, I won’t be one of them.
A. This “Bangor Daily News” writer didn’t have the right stuff.
Q. Why isn’t Dale headed to Los Angeles?
Dale McGarrigle is BDN’s television page editor and TV reviewer. He can be reached at 990-8028 and dmcgarrigle@bangordailynews.net.
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