Ambivalence rules among Vietnam vets

loading...

The image of the last U.S. helicopter departing Saigon from a rooftop with South Vietnamese men and women clinging to its runners is seared into the American consciousness.

It’s not an image that elicits feelings of pride or patriotism, the way images of V-E Day do. Earlier this month, the 60th anniversary of Victory in Europe Day, which marked the end of World War II, was duly noted and celebrated. But the 30th anniversary of the fall of Saigon on April 30, 1975, got nowhere near the same amount of attention, though many Vietnam veterans were well aware of the date.

The lack of fanfare is fitting, say Vietnam vets, because after all, the United States lost the war in Vietnam.

The vets are now in their mid-50s and early 60s. They’ve had 30 years to set aside or wrestle with their memories, to weigh the merits of the cause, to watch other young men and women go to war, and to reflect on the politics of the Vietnam era, especially in light of recent revelations by the architects of that war.

Though the country may be as conflicted as ever about the war, the vets say they are more likely to get a handshake and a “thanks” today when someone learns they fought in Southeast Asia.

“It was a political war. Period. It was fought by the politicians,” said Mike Gallant, 57, of Belmont. Gallant served from August 1967 to August 1968, spending the entire time in combat, serving with the Army’s mechanized infantry and tank divisions, and getting wounded three times.

Dan Avener, 57, of Belfast served from 1968 to 1969 in Army artillery. After just a few

weeks in Vietnam, he said, “I realized we were the occupiers. I began to understand where the Viet Cong were coming from.”

Though he appreciates the “thank you for defending my country” and “thank you for defending my freedom” comments he is likely to hear these days, he doesn’t understand them.

“I just can’t figure out how Vietnam threatened our freedom,” he said.

Vince Gabriel, 57, of Warren declines to confront the question of the merits of the war in which he fought in 1968. It’s not that he has buried his feelings about the war. On the contrary, Gabriel, a blues rock singer-songwriter who performs as Blind Albert, has recorded a CD called “11 Bravo” about his Vietnam experiences and performs a multimedia show on the war theme.

“It’s a sensitive subject. I can’t say it wasn’t worth it,” he said of the war. “I mean, we had 58,000 guys killed over there. It was just run very poorly by the government.”

Having lost a cousin and a good friend in the war, “I can’t say it was a waste. It would be kind of like saying those guys were a waste,” Gabriel said. “I’m not going to say it was in vain.”

A bumper sticker on his vehicle reads, “Our Cause Was Just.” Still, he has some questions about the war, but said, “I keep those feelings to myself.”

Jack Sharkey, 60, of Warren enlisted in the Navy and served in Vietnam in 1967 and 1968.

“I loved it. I have no regrets,” he said. Sharkey’s Vietnam experience included some of his highest highs and lowest lows. The highs included living with a Vietnamese girlfriend with access to recreational substances, he said.

In Warren, Sharkey runs a motorcycle shop, American Iron, which has been a hangout for vets, “a haven for guys like us,” he said. For years, a sign in the shop read, “Vietnam Vets Spoken Here.”

Like Gabriel, Sharkey believes politicians ran the war and should be blamed for its failure.

“I don’t think the troopers lost the war,” he said. “Most of the guys felt that way. The government screwed up the war.”

And like Avener, Sharkey believes the war was fought on tenuous grounds.

“We were in their back yard, and we probably shouldn’t have been,” he said.

In the 30 years since the war ended, Sharkey has witnessed changing views among and toward vets from that era.

Upon returning to the United States, “We just never talked about [the war experience],” but then, in the late 1970s, “things started loosening up. Then it kind of got to be fashionable,” he said, to talk about the war experience. Sharkey derides vets who, in his view, whine about bad treatment upon arriving home.

“We went over there and did our jobs. I have nothing to be ashamed of,” he said.

Gabriel, Avener and Sharkey believe the stories about returning vets being spat upon are either myths or greatly exaggerated.

“I really question whether that actually happened,” said Avener, though he noted Vietnam vets weren’t treated like their World War II counterparts. Upon arriving home, Avener became active with the Vietnam Veterans Against the War.

“I came out of it as anti-war. I felt my country had let me down and lied to me. You can’t take away anything from the people who fought and the people who died,” he said. “But the people who sent us I have absolutely no use for.”

It was years before he spoke about his war experiences. Recently, Avener got Vietnam

Veteran license plates for his car. Today, he actively opposes the war in Iraq and sees too many parallels with Vietnam.

Gallant, who became a big brother to the 133rd National Guard unit sent to Iraq, also sees parallels with the current war.

“It’s the same thing, all over again,” he said, relaying the belief that the United States should withdraw its forces.

But Gallant has no regrets about serving and would have pursued a career in the Army had he not been wounded.

“I was doing it for the [Vietnamese] kids,” he said. “Trying to save the kids and the poor people.”

The only grudge he holds is for those who fled the draft to Canada.

“I still hate them – and Jane Fonda,” Gallant said, referring to the actress who protested the war.

Gabriel said understanding the war was difficult in part because there was no front line. Generals beefed up enemy body counts “to make it seem like we we’re winning,” he said.

The war in Iraq is similar, he said.

“We got ourselves into another situation where we’ve underestimated people, namely the enemy,” Gabriel said, and, like Vietnam, there is no plan to get out. People seem to support the troops now, he said, and seem to understand that any anger about the war should be directed at the government.

“Hey, I got drafted,” he said. “We were just taking orders.”

To those who want to understand what it was like, Gabriel points to the movie “Apocalypse Now.”

“It was like walking in a dream,” he said.

Gallant references a more recent film: “We Were Soldiers.”

Sharkey said as he and his comrades age, there is some mellowing and a willingness to lean on each other, regardless of political views.

“Veterans are more and more sticking together,” he said.