Well, we finally got our wish. Spring showed up Wednesday. The weather was beautiful! Beautiful! Seventy degrees? Sunshine? Blue skies? Amazing! Beautiful!

And now here we are, just a day into our actual spring season, complaining about something else.

Mosquitoes. Black flies. Bugs. They’re everywhere. And since none of us have gone outside to feed them lately, they’re very angry, and extremely hungry.

Like all Mainers, I have always believed that there is, somewhere, a magic solution to the bug problem that doesn’t demand that we cut down all the trees, pave all the green stuff, and pretend we’re living in Boston.

For awhile, I thought the solution was Ben’s. Not the pretty-darned-effective low-test Ben’s that you find in most stores nowadays. That stuff, I figured, was just too wimpy for our Maine bugs.

But the high-test, 100 percent DEET, melt-the-paint-off-your-car Ben’s? Now that was bug dope.

At some point, some bug scientist (or dermatologist) figured out that slathering your skin with a liquid that can melt the paint off your car might not be the brightest way to repel insects … not that we really minded too much when the alternative was letting bugs chew our earlobes off.

Everyone has their own favorite bug dope. Some use Avon’s Skin So Soft, though to me, that solution simply transformed me into the world’s largest piece of walking flypaper, and I’d end up having to rinse off a flock of mired-down mosquitoes at the end of the day.

According to a story an outdoorsman shared with me, at least one Maine logger effectively repelled bugs by mixing a secret chemical with the oil that he used on his chainsaw.

The result worked, as far as the bugs were concerned, but had a not-so-perfect side effect: It turned his face and arms a deep oily brown.

While that may or may not have been the inspiration for the tan-in-a-bottle products that are all the rage nowadays, I don’t think it’ll catch on as a mass-produced fly dope.

Which brings us to a brand-new, unbelievable, can’t-be-true solution I recently tried out.

It’s not a spray. It’s not a lotion. It doesn’t even stink or peel the paint off your car or give you an unintentional tan.

And believe it or not … it works.

The product is called the ThermaCELL mosquito repellent, and I first heard about it from Master Maine Guide Doug Teel Jr.

Teel, who spends plenty of time in the woods during bear and turkey seasons – peak seasons for getting your earlobes chewed off by bugs – received a ThermaCELL unit from a client, tried it once, and found it worked perfectly for him.

“I was very skeptical, but it worked,” said Teel, the owner of Northridge Guide Service in Rockport.

The ThermaCELL looks a bit like a walkie-talkie or a cell phone, and it consists of a unit, a butane cartridge and an insect repellent mat which heats up when the butane is ignited.

The result: A thin wisp of nearly odorless smoke that mosquitoes and blackflies can’t stand.

I know. I know. You’re like Teel. You’re like me. You’re a Mainer. You’re skeptical.

On Tuesday, I took a ThermaCELL into the woods, fired it up, and rested it on the back bumper of my truck.

Then I stood there and waited to be gnawed upon.

It never happened.

Everywhere I looked, the mosquitoes were thick … except in a wide cone around the ThermaCELL.

“Every time I tell somebody about it, I sound like an infomercial,” Teel said. “But it works. It’s the only thing I’ve used that actually works.”

For guides like Teel, the device is perfect: When you’re hunting bears, you don’t want to smell like traditional bug dope, and Teel said the subtle scent of the ThermaCELL doesn’t spook the burly critters.

And when you’re hunting turkeys, you don’t want any oils on your hands; oils can damage many kinds of turkey calls.

At the risk of sounding like … well … an infomercial, I’ll tell you that Teel says you can get the ThermaCELL at L.L. Bean and the Kittery Trading Post, and that it’ll cost you about $20. The manufacturer claims that one unit repels insects in a 225-square-foot area.

That price covers the basic unit, one butane cartridge and three repellent mats. That package will last you about 12 hours.

Additional supplies – $50 will buy you 12 cartridges and 30 mats – and accessories including a handy holster are also available. ThermaCELL makes lanterns as well. For more information, you can check out www.mosquitorepellent.com.

OK. The infomercial is over. All I know is, Teel spends more time in the woods than I do, and he swears by it. And the mosquitoes I encountered on Wednesday aren’t big fans of the device … which is good enough for me.

Dunk tank visit looms

If you’ve ever wanted to vent your frustration for anything – bad fishing, bad weather, or even (gulp) a column you didn’t agree with – I hope you’ll consider doing so at my expense Saturday.

As a part of the Eastern Maine Soapbox Derby festivities, Wal-Mart will be running a dunk tank to benefit the Children’s Miracle Network … and I’ll be one of the dunkees.

My stint on the plank will run from 12:30 until 1, and I hope you’ll drop by.

A quick reminder: The derby has moved from Brewer to Bangor, and will be contested on the Buck Street hill near the Bangor Auditorium. The dunk tank will be nearby; just listen for the sounds of splashing and squealing. That’ll be me.

John Holyoke can be reached at jholyoke@bangordailynews.net or by calling 990-8214 or 1-800-310-8600.