Woman set on following her dreams, no matter her age

The best-laid plans can often go awry. Yet the right attitude can turn personal tragedy into triumph.

After retiring, Betty Pickering, 72, and her husband, Alton, sold their home and bought a 35-foot fifth-wheel trailer and a truck. They had a grand design in mind – they were going to be full-time travelers.

“I always said, we were home every night but I never knew where we were until I lifted the shade [on the camper] and looked out the window,” Betty explained. “And I told everybody that if we get ‘smushed’ on the highway, have a party because we were doing what we loved.”

While they traveled the country carefree, Alton with his camera documenting the trip in pictures and Betty with her pad of paper chronicling their adventures for her hometown newspaper – the Lincoln News – they couldn’t have known. The dream was not to last. Alton took sick and passed away.

Grief-stricken, Betty again laid down roots in Maine. She sold the truck and camper and found an apartment in Bangor.

And through it all, her writing continued. The facilitator of her women’s writing group saw talent. They met privately for coffee one day and it was suggested to Betty that she enroll in a program at Lesley College in Massachusetts.

A decision so life-altering would be difficult to make without the advice of her beloved late husband. She recalled his never-fading support of her dreams and made the call to Lesley College.

“It was an intensive residency program,” she said. Betty lived with 25 other students at various levels of degree completion.

“It turned out to be almost like a small community, living in this mansion on the lake for 10 days. An adviser planned our courses and the degrees are tailored to the individual. Of course I was much older than the other students were, embarking on a college career at 67, but no one seemed to notice.” The rest of the six-month semester is done through correspondence, she added.

It wasn’t easy, but Betty completed the creative writing course and got her degree, with support from her loved ones. In May 2004, Betty went to her granddaughter’s college graduation in Colorado, and her granddaughter, in turn, made the trip to Boston to attend Betty’s graduation.

Betty has always followed her heart, wherever it led.

“You need to have dreams,” she said. “A long time ago, probably 30 years, I read on a teabag tag, ‘You’ll never grow old until your regrets replace your dreams.’ I would think about that periodically through the years, and I don’t believe in spending time on regrets. If you are going to live as a senior, you need to have dreams and, more importantly, to follow them. Mine are traveling and writing.”

Seems Betty practices what she preaches.

After graduating from Lesley, she decided to make a solo trip across the country in her SUV. Her mind raced with the possibilities. New places to see, new columns to write. But fate threw her another curve – this time, a happy one. She became reacquainted with Don, a man who lost his dear wife around the same time Alton passed away, and who “shares my writing ambitions and understands that it is all about the journey, not the destination.”

And so Betty has come somewhat full circle. She and new beau Don travel whenever they can and she continues to run the occasional story in the Lincoln News. As does he.

Join me for Senior Talk on WVOM, the Voice of Maine, 103.9 FM, at 6:30 a.m. Saturdays, or at 9 a.m. Wednesdays on WABI 910 AM.

Carol Higgins is director of communications at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA, call 941-2865 or log on www.eaaa.org.