Converting? Be prepared to study

I need to begin by stating clearly that Jews do not proselytize. We do not seek out non-Jews to convert them to Judaism. None of you, I feel safe in stating, has ever had a Jew come knocking on your door to try to convince you that we have The Way or that we know The Truth.

So how does one become Jewish if one is not born a Jew? Practice, practice, practice and study, study, study.

A story dating back about 2,100 years describes the character of two of our most significant rabbis, or teachers.

A non-Jew wishing to convert to Judaism approached Rabbi Shammai and asked, “Tell me, while I stand on one foot [meaning quickly], what is Judaism about?”

Shammai responded, “I study my entire life about Judaism and you expect an answer while you stand on one foot?” Shammai tells the man to leave.

The man then went to Rabbi Hillel, the other honored rabbi of that period, and asked him the same question. Hillel responded, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. The rest is commentary; now go and study.”

Some rabbis today are more strict, like Shammai, in their approach to potential converts, and initially discourage them from further inquiry. Other rabbis are more welcoming and may even encourage certain individuals to learn more about Judaism and to consider possibly converting.

All rabbis share the need for every potential convert to study about Judaism for at least one year and to experience Jewish practices so that he or she can make a knowledgeable and informed decision about becoming Jewish. Studying and practicing our Jewish traditions is key to becoming a member of the Jewish community, the Jewish people.

When a person becomes Jewish, he or she takes on a Hebrew name which includes the title “son” or “daughter” of Abraham and Sarah. This naming process links the convert to our original Jewish father and mother, thereby linking all Jews to a common ancestry and a common future.

Many people consider becoming Jewish because they are in a relationship with a Jewish man or woman. Jewish life is focused primarily on the family, so having a common faith perspective and common holidays and customs can help unite a couple and their children.

Other people consider becoming Jewish because of their attraction to Jewish customs and our way of life. Whatever the reason, an extensive period of study is required so that the individual can make an informed, educated and open-minded decision.

Choosing to be Jewish can be an interesting process involving a great deal of learning and evaluation to discover how Jewish values and practices will become part of a person’s daily life.

Marriages between a Jew and a non-Jew are common today in the United States. The question of how to deal with this reality frequently is addressed by rabbis. All rabbis and committed Jews seek to maintain our culture and heritage since we are such a small minority. We feel that the Jewish people offer our world significant contributions and that our culture needs to be preserved both quantitatively and qualitatively.

Traditional rabbis (Orthodox and Conservative) do not officiate at an intermarriage. Modern Rabbis (Reform and Reconstructionist) sometimes do: About half of all Reform rabbis and about a third of all Reconstructionist rabbis officiate at intermarriages.

I am one of those Reconstructionist rabbis who sometimes officiates at an intermarriage. When approached by a couple who wishes to marry, I discuss my concerns about maintaining Jewish identity within the family and clarify that I am a rabbi, not a justice of the peace.

Therefore, for me to feel comfortable as the rabbi for them, I need to know that they are planning to: 1) raise their children as Jews; 2) maintain a Jewish home; 3) belong to a Jewish congregation or fellowship (chavurah) and 4) take an introduction to Judaism course so that both partners will learn what is required to raise Jewish children and have a Jewish home.

In many cases, the couple finds another officiant. For the couples I work with, my hope and our agreement is that possibly the non-Jewish partner will choose to become Jewish or that at least the family will be united as a practicing and involved Jewish unit.

The future of our Jewish people in the United States is dependent upon maintaining Judaism as a vibrant, meaningful way of life. We must adapt to our ever-changing world in order to continue to find joy and fulfillment from our unique Jewish heritage while acknowledging our place among the diverse family of nations.

Rabbi Barry Krieger is the rabbinic facilitator for the Hillel organization at the University of Maine in Orono. He may be reached via bkrieger56@aol.com. Voices is a weekly commentary by Maine people who explore issues affecting spirituality and religious life.