DVD Corner

Each week, BDN film critic Christopher Smith will contribute reviews to DVD Corner.

“DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN”: Adapted from Tyler Perry’s stage play, this bizarre movie is many things: a celebration of Christian values, a drag act, a drug plunge, an urban slapstick comedy, a soap opera, a sitcom revenge fantasy. You leave the film thinking, “What the hell was that?” and realize you may have just left hell itself. The film’s “mad black woman” is Helen (Kimberly Elise), who is thrown out of her house by her husband of nearly 20 years when he falls for another woman. Now homeless, Helen begins a diary, seeks to rebuild her life, and snags a new stud with good values along the way. That’s the trite base story. What surrounds it is an implausible blizzard. Perry appears as three characters, including the crowd-pleasing, chain saw-wielding Madea, who would feel right at home in “Big Momma’s House” if she could fit through its doors. None of the film transcends the leap from stage to screen – you wince at its preachiness, blush at its broad strokes of romance, and wish it would come off its high horse. If director Darren Grant was trying to reach the cheap seats, he succeeded. Grade: C-

“JAWS: 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION”: Five years after the last DVD release of “Jaws,” this “new” two-disc set appears. Included is a 60-page booklet filled with photos from the set, a so-so featurette, a few additional deleted scenes and the full-length inclusion of Laurent Bozerau’s excellent documentary, “The Making of Jaws,” only half of which appeared in the prior release. Also there are additional audio choices, such as mono (in which the film was originally released) and Dolby 5.1 surround sound, which gives John Williams’ score new depth. For those who own the 25th anniversary edition, forget this one; it isn’t for you. For those who don’t own it, it’s a boon, featuring one of the great popular movies. Yes, all of this is just Universal Studios paying the rent, but ocean views like this – and jaws like that – apparently only come around once every five years. Grade: A

“THE PACIFIER”: Vin Diesel stars as a Navy SEAL whose lock-and-load lifestyle is sidelined by loaded diapers. His pecs are his unbilled co-stars, and they never let him down. The story is hooey, with Diesel’s Shane Wolfe ordered to baby-sit five brats while their mother (Faith Ford) flies off to Europe to unlock the reason her husband was murdered under Wolfe’s watch. Meanwhile, Shane is at home playing kindergarten cop, fighting her children, their pet duck and ninja assassins while trying to keep everyone fed. It’s every bit as ghastly as it sounds, with poor Vin Diesel revealing himself as a hard-bodied softy. Kids will enjoy its scat jokes. Everyone else will enjoy a good nap. Grade: D+

“WAR OF THE WORLDS” (1953): Byron Haskin’s Academy Award-winning 1953 version, available on DVD, nixes the building blocks of H.G. Wells’ tale to create its own landscape. It exchanges England for Southern California, which is good news for the Brits since this film is about the apocalypse, with alien ships blasting humans with their scorching heat rays. To its core, this is a B-movie, but it’s among the best of its class, an ambitious film with terrific special effects that still grab you. Barre Lyndon’s script greases the nuts-and-bolts plot into a smooth ride, while Gene Berry and Ann Robinson smolder amid the destruction. Steven Spielberg’s new version arrives Wednesday, and it has plenty to live up to. First, it needs to be its own movie. Second, it needs to be a film for the ages. Tough job – but if anyone can do it, that would be Spielberg. Grade: A

Other reviews

“THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART: INDECISION 2004”: Since the outcome of last fall’s U.S. presidential election is well-known, this collection of episodes culled from the nightly Comedy Central series has a dated element built in, but thanks to the sharp humor of Stewart and “correspondents” such as Stephen Colbert, the coverage of Bush vs. Kerry remains amusing many months later. (Not rated)

“REVELATIONS”: Brought together by tragedy, a science-minded Harvard professor and a nun (Bill Pullman, Natascha McElhone) discover evidence that the end of the world as told in the Bible is near. His scientific mind and her faith are combined in an effort to forestall the final confrontation between the forces of God and the devil. Michael Massee (“24”) co-stars as one of Satan’s lieutenants in the series, for which NBC had high hopes. The series ultimately was not renewed. (Not rated)

“STONE COLD”: Tom Selleck plays it rough around the edges in this made-for-CBS mystery based on a Robert B. Parker novel. He stars as Jesse Stone, a former Los Angeles homicide detective who is now the police chief of a New England fishing village. When the town is hit by several murders and a rape, Stone must get his own act together – he overindulges in liquor and ladies – and get his police force up to speed on solving major crimes. Mimi Rogers plays Rita Fiore, who turned up in Parker’s “Spenser” stories, too. CBS was so pleased with the ratings last February, it ordered two more Selleck-as-Stone movies. DVD extra: “making-of” documentary. (Not rated)