“CONSTANTINE”: In the Byzantine “Constantine,” Keanu Reeves is John Constantine, a brooding, chain-smoking wreck whose job is to patrol Los Angeles and strike a balance between good and evil. He does so by performing exorcisms on the poor sods who need it (messy) while also ridding the world of the demonic lost souls who manage to slip through (messier). Rachel Weisz is Angela, the L.A. detective he gets mixed up with after her twin sister throws herself out a hospital window. Was it her bill that made her commit suicide? Not as far as Angela is concerned. According to her, her sister was a staunch Catholic who never would take her own life lest she end up writhing in hell. So what gives? Damned if I know. As straightforward as this sounds, the reality is that “Constantine” is a convoluted mess with many scenes never coming together no matter how many times you examine them in the murky light. Elements are to be admired, such as the film’s imaginative dramatization of hell and the fine cameos by Tilda Swinton and Djimon Hounsou. But story and characters are key to any movie, and here director Francis Lawrence has lost sight of both. “Constantine” isn’t a movie, per se; it’s a stunt filled with eye-catching effects designed to lure audiences to see it. Unfortunately, after they do, they will be the real lost souls. Grade: C-
“ICE PRINCESS”: A G-rated family movie from director Tim Fywell that takes the physics of figure skating literally with Michelle Trachtenberg as a high school senior with a mind for science who crunches numbers to achieve the perfect triple axel and Lutz. Here, as Casey Carlyle, she plays a sweet girl saddled with mother Joan (Joan Cusack), a humorless feminist who already has Casey’s life planned for her – she will go to Harvard and become a scientist. End of story. But Casey has her own ideas about her life – she decides she rather likes figure skating – which sends the film straight to the rink, where its core audience of teens learn from Disney, of all studios, that it’s a cruel world after all. The movie gets its edge from several sharp corners – Cusack, who could play this role in her sleep, as well as Kim Cattrall as Casey’s icy trainer, Tina Harwood. The lot of this is pure formula, but the cast rises above it with some fiery moments. Trachtenberg is especially good, as is Hayden Panettiere as her ice skating friend. Real-life figure skating stars Michelle Kwan and Brian Boitano do the movie no favors. They appear in grating cameos. Grade: B-
“MAN OF THE HOUSE”: Tommy Lee Jones is the man, but not in a complimentary sense. In the comedy-drama-thriller “Man of the House,” he’s Roland Sharp, a Texas Ranger protecting five University of Texas cheerleaders who witnessed a drug-related murder. Because the plot requires him to, he moves into their house where he watches over them, disciplines them, occasionally handcuffs them. It’s Jones’ stoic face that could take the bite out of crime. It’s his love interest, Anne Archer, who is here to soften it. Cedric the Entertainer appears as an ex-con caught in an awkward subplot that lands him in church with no recourse but to preach and raise the roof. As a racial stereotype, it’s humiliating – but at least he wasn’t asked to reach deep inside the business end of a cow to retrieve a key piece of evidence, as Jones must do. Still, don’t feel bad for him. As executive producer, Jones brought this house down on himself. Grade: C-
Other reviews
“SPACE STATION”: Tom Cruise is dealing with intergalactic concerns in the current version of “War of the Worlds,” but before that, he had his eye on the skies as narrator of this documentary originally presented in giant-screen IMAX theaters. It takes viewers to the International Space Station, along with the astronauts and cosmonauts who populate it, in a 45-minute profile of life aboard the high-tech outpost and the challenges facing those who occupy it. DVD extras: “making of” documentary; audio commentary by director Toni Myers and astronauts; two astronaut-guided tours of the space station. ??? (Not rated)
“LAGUNA BEACH: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON”: Allegedly an unscripted series, although it has about as much drama as a scripted serial, this MTV series (soon to start its second year) focuses on the lives and loves of several privileged high-schoolers in Orange County, Calif. – yes, the land of “The O.C.” One of the pivotal stories involves would-be fashion designer Lauren and her feelings for her friend Stephen, who is romantically linked to Lauren’s enemy, Kristin. The finale scene was a jaw-dropper for fans of the show. DVD extras: “making of” documentaries; cast interviews; deleted scenes; casting tapes; music videos. ??? (Not rated: AS, P)
“EARTH 2: THE COMPLETE SERIES”: The single-season history of this science-fiction show was enough to earn it a cult following. In a future time when Earth is largely unihabitable, survivors reside in orbiting space stations … but not necessarily forever, if an expedition to an untested planet proves successful. The mission encounters immediate problems when the explorers crash far from the intended site. The ensemble cast includes Debrah Farentino, Clancy Brown, Jessica Steen, Antonio Sabato Jr. and Rebecca Gayheart. DVD extras: deleted and extended scenes; outtakes; bonus episodes of “Sliders” and “Cleopatra 2525.” ??? (Not rated: AS, P, V)
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