Expert warns Bangor parents about cyberbullying

BANGOR – The bully phenomenon has been around for years and, for many, it conjures up memories of a physically imposing, fear-inducing classmate who managed to incorporate stuffing fellow students into lockers into the curriculum.

But the face of the junior high bully is changing.

A small group of parents and community members met Tuesday evening at the James F. Doughty School to learn about the emergence of a new bully, one whose style is less physical and more psychological.

In a world where cell phones are ubiquitous and e-mails and instant messaging are common forms of communication, the “cyberbully” uses those tools to torment, to defame and to add another hurdle to adolescence.

“Cyberbullying is a 24-hour-a-day, seven-day a week problem,” said guest speaker Shanterra McBride, deputy executive director of The Empower Program, a Washington, D.C.-based educational organization. “But this is a good age to catch kids because they still listen.”

Unicel, a cell phone service owned by Minnesota-based Rural Cellular Corp., has teamed with The Empower Program to help educate children and parents about cyberbullying.

McBride, an engaging public speaker, already has visited five schools across the country as part of Unicel’s Stand Up! tour. She came to Bangor from Fargo, N.D., and spent most of the day Tuesday speaking to Doughty school pupils in grades six through eight.

“We want to catch it before it’s a big problem,” McBride said. “We don’t need to wait around for something bad to happen and then react.”

McBride, who lives in D.C. but is originally from Dallas, shared a haunting story Tuesday about a group of Texas middle schoolers who created a Web site designed specifically to ridicule a classmate.

“It was called deborahisabigfatcow.com, and these kids would take pictures of this student and then put her head on the body of cows,” she said, pausing to reflect. “I’ll never forget that.”

According to McBride, most of the students at the Doughty school said they hadn’t experienced cyberbullying, but she stressed that parents and teachers need to keep up with the technology in order to spot future trends.

“[Cyberbullying] is so hard to track … it’s harder for kids to get caught,” McBride pointed out. “We’re waiting for the kids to say they are being bullied, but most times that isn’t happening.”

Michelle LeBlanc of Bangor, whose 11-year-old daughter encouraged her to go Tuesday night to hear McBride speak, said her daughter has a cell phone but does not have text messaging or a built-in camera.

“My daughter is fairly independent, but I’m worried about peer pressure,” LeBlanc said. “I don’t want her to think it’s OK to bully because others are doing it.”

Doughty school Assistant Principal Ed Hackett said cell phones are not allowed on school property, but that doesn’t mean cyberbullying doesn’t go on, particularly after school.

“It’s only a matter of time before we see a problem,” he said. “There is a definite shift in the way kids communicate.”

McBride said parents need to stay a step ahead of their technologically savvy children and shouldn’t feel guilty about monitoring their cell phone and computer habits.

“Privacy is overrated,” she said. “We need to be a step ahead. It’s important for parents to understand the technology and teach their children to be responsible in using it.”

For more information about cyberbullying, visit Unicel’s Web site, www.unicel.com/standup.