I DREAM OF CLEAN You don’t need to break the budget to find the right tools and supplies to really clean house

The whole domesticity gene missed me.

Until recently, I’ve been of the school that thinks, “Why clean it if it’s going to get dirty again anyway?” Hence, my house is a disaster. The fact that we’re renovating has something to do with it, but that only accounts for a third of the dust. My canine and feline friends account for another third (I sweep up enough fur every week to make another dog and half a cat). But the third third is a mystery. Where does this dust come from? I have no idea.

What I do know is that I can’t live like this anymore. Maybe I’m growing up. Maybe I realized that the cleaning fairy isn’t going to wave her wand and make the mess go away. Maybe I’m – gasp – nesting.

Whatever the reason, I’m living a Martha moment.

Lately, I’ve been running around with a toothbrush in one hand, Fantastik in the other, scrubbing out floor registers and getting the gunk out of hard-to-reach places, such as the area behind the faucet. In the past week alone, I reorganized three closets, took out the recycling for the first time in months, brought a carload of stuff to the Orono Thrift Shop, cleaned out the heating ducts, and scrubbed the sink. I’m unstoppable.

Which leads to shopping – doesn’t everything? I ran out of all-purpose cleanser about three days ago. The kitchen sponges haven’t seen this kind of workout in years, and my recycling setup could use some work. And where the heck did I put our oven warranty?

First things first. I figured if I’m going to become a full-fledged domestic goddess, it’s going to take a little homework. So I bought a book. Or three. The first is my new bible: “Home Comforts” by Cheryl Mendelsson, which explains how to do everything related to the home. The second, “Cleaning Hints & Tips” ($9.95, Ryland Peters & Small) by Cindy Harris, is a brief but lovely guide to the basics.

The third is my new best friend, “Homeowner’s Record Keeper,” (Chronicle) which I picked up for $18.95 at G.F. MacGregor in Rockland. That’s where the oven warranty comes in. This book lets you chart all of the contacts, colors, measurements, maintenance and other essential info for your home, which really comes in handy when you’re shopping for a comforter to match your guest room walls.

Before I commit to a comforter, however, I want to make sure the room – and the rest of my home – is clean. I wanted to start with the entryway, which is a catchall for clutter. It’s also my recycling center. Until now, I’ve thrown my newspapers onto a baker’s rack until they topple over (which signifies it’s time to take them out). I wanted to buy fabric-lined baskets to put them in, but those were a bit out of my budget. Instead, I found a trio of plastic bins at Target that will work just fine. At $2.99 each, there really wasn’t a question. Problem solved.

Next stop, the kitchen, which is also a clutter magnet. The bill organizer I bought last year helps the mail cause, but I have yet to devise a system for the keys, purses and magazines that seem to multiply like rabbits on the sideboard. One thing I can fix, however, is the nastiness of the sink. Transferring my dish soap to a pretty glass bottle (a la Martha) helped, but my sponges are gross, and it takes them only a few days to get that way. I picked up a new one at Target, but I needed a way to keep it dry.

Enter the handy wire sponge rack, which attaches with suction cups to the side of the sink ($4.99 at Bed Bath & Beyond). It should help, but even if it doesn’t, I picked up a four-pack of dishcloths at Kmart for $1.99. You can throw them into the washing machine and they’re good as new, which is more than you can say for a sponge.

While at Kmart, I couldn’t resist the fabulous – and cheap! – dishtowels. They were on clearance, three for $2.50. Since my cleaning binge began, I’ve been using dishtowels like they’re going out of style, so I wanted to stock up.

One thing I’ve also been burning through is cleaning fluids, which is actually a good thing because I’ve been dying to try the Method line of naturally derived cleansers ($2.99-$4.99 at Target). I traded my Fantastik for a French lavender-scented, all-purpose surface cleaner (which almost makes me excited about cleaning my black enamel-topped stove. Almost.). The Windex has made way for Method’s window cleaner, and I couldn’t resist the French lavender hand soap, either. I wonder if they make toilet cleaner, because that stuff smells awful.

Of course, it’s better than the alternative. The bathroom also has faced my scrutiny of late, and I’m planning to toss out my old, yucky toilet brush in favor of a stylish stainless model from Park’s Hardware in Orono ($9). I picked up cleaning caddies for 99 cents each at Target awhile back, and I’ve stocked them with basin, tub and tile cleaner. I even started using them.

At this rate, you’ll be able to eat off my floors in no time. Actually, scratch that. The dogs will beat you to it.

ShopNotes

. I recently had the pleasure of judging a shopping contest for a group of Red Hat Society members at Goodwill in Bangor. I became distracted by a Banana Republic shirt and a pair of pants from Old Navy, but I wasn’t the only one trolling for bargains – these women can really shop and save! If you see them out (they’re hard to miss in their red hats, purple duds and, occasionally, feathers), say hi for me.

. Finally, Kohl’s is open. Go. Check it out. Shop. Fall in love.

. Love antiques? Love a bargain? Then you’ll love shopping this weekend at the Antiques Marketplace in downtown Bangor. The shop will celebrate its first anniversary with free refreshments, door prizes and reduced prices at almost every booth.

Reader question

Dear Kristen,

I absolutely detest shopping, but have to admit that I always read your column because it is entertaining. Perhaps you can help me with a frustration. Am I the only person in the country who does not have an obscenely oversized mattress in the current style? First the pockets on the fitted sheets were 12 inches deep, then 14 and now 15. These are of course labeled as “fits pockets up to 15 inches.” Yes, they do go on my mattress, but bunch up on top. Where else can the extra material go? Who knows where it will end! I have found during my life experiences that “one size fits all” rarely fits anything well. My question then, is, is it possible to find traditional mattress size fitted sheets and if so where? And if the product description does not say “extra deep” does that mean they’re regular? I will be grateful for any help you can suggest. Thanks.

– Barbara

Dear Barbara,

I hear you. And so do the folks at Bed Bath & Beyond. The company’s linen expert responded: “Yes, she should be able to find them. A large percentage of the mattress industry is at 9 inches deep. Without knowing the size or dimension of the reader’s mattress, what I can say is that most of the sheet products are labeled with the dimensions of the fitted sheets (usually on the back). It will usually give pocket size (for pocket size you can add 2 to 3 inches to determine what mattress size it will fit) or the packaging will tell what mattress depth the sheet will fit up to. It is a standard in the industry to label the packaging so.”

I hope this helps. And, as always, happy shopping!

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476. Tune in to ShopGirl at 5 p.m. Fridays on WLBZ-2.