You’d better not shove, you’d better not cut. You’d better not swear – I’m telling you what: ShopGirl is coming to town.

She knows when you have cart rage. She knows when you’ve been rude. She knows when you give poor store clerks a heap of attitude.

Sorry, holiday shopping has me a little frazzled – and we’ve only just begun.

The other day, I got up close and personal with a rack full of cashmere sweaters. Normally, this would be cause for celebration. But on this occasion, it was not.

Why? Well, I ended up cuddling these cardigans because of a breach of shopping etiquette. As a woman bustled by me with her cart at a local department store, she catapulted me into cashmere with nary a “whoops,” let alone a “sorry.”

And that wasn’t the worst of it. Later in the afternoon, I could only watch in horror as a woman let the glass door slam in the face of another shopper with her arms full of bags.

Gee, that was nice.

As the holidays grow closer, the shopping scene just gets busier. Crowds eventually lead to flared tempers in stores and flipped birds in the parking lot (and I’m not talking turkey). Cart rage is no fun. Neither is a tug-of-war over the last size 6 herringbone blazer at the Gap.

I try not to commit these faux pas myself, but I’m only human. I’ll admit, a few months ago, I inadvertently snagged a $25 Calphalon pan from an unsuspecting shopper at Bed Bath & Beyond. I was mortified when I realized my error and put it back immediately, but the damage was already done.

I know there are ways to avoid situations like this. A little shopping etiquette is all it takes to make life less hectic for yourself and your fellow bargain hunters. So go forth. Be polite. Be good, for goodness’ sake.

Shop like ShopGirl:

If your schedule allows, hit the stores only on weekday mornings or any day after 7 p.m. I hardly ever shop on weekends ? way too stressful.

Let her have it. If you and another shopper are tussling over tasseled loafers, hand them over. Be the better person. You?ll get yours. And it may be on sale.

Always hold the door open for the person behind you.

Park the cart. It?s OK to have one, but the aisles at most department stores are too narrow to accommodate carts and people at the same time. Store yours at the end of an aisle.

Take the empty aisle. If you have an armload of housewares and you?re trying to get to the shoe department, choose the path of least resistance. This may require you to walk a little farther, but you won?t knock anyone over. What a concept.

If you?re a coupon shopper, pass your coupons on to someone else when you leave the store.

Has the person behind the register or on the sales floor been particularly helpful? Let his manager know. Better yet, give him a tip ? note that some clerks, depending on store policy, may not be able to accept. Likewise, don?t let bad service go unchecked.

Speaking of tipping, just because you blew all your cash at the mall, you shouldn?t stiff your waitress at dinner. That is so tacky.

Look where you?re going ? and keep an eye out for kids. They?re small and easy to knock over.

Use turn signals in the parking lot. If someone snags your space, it?s OK to swear a little. With the window closed. It?s not OK to get out of your car and start kicking the offender?s bumper.

If you don?t have enough time, don?t bother to shop. You?re setting yourself up for all sorts of stress.

If a new register opens, let the person in front of you get there first. And don?t jostle anyone on the way there.

Respect people?s personal space, especially on the escalator.

Don?t bring 20 items into the ?14 items or fewer? express lane ? 15

is passable; 20 is not.

Lay off the perfume.

Don?t make the clerk decide who?s next in line. Speak up, but don?t cut.

ShopNotes

. Front Porch Books at 67 Pine St. in Orono will hold an open house from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. today. The event will feature collages and new pottery by Sandy Houtman, gently used books from Vicky Erker, paper jewelry by Wild Ivy Designs and origami by Rachel Houtman.

. Check out the Incubator Without Walls holiday marketplace from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 3, at the Bangor Civic Center. The event showcases wares by dozens of microbusinesses, including Prospect Harbor Soap Co., WO?s Wicked Fine BBQ Sauce, Bangor?s own S.I.L.K. Glass, and ornaments and mantel-size boats by North End Boats & Crafts.

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476. Tune in to ShopGirl at 5 p.m. Fridays on WLBZ-2.