When it comes to gifts, keep it safe, but creative

As a columnist, I’ve never found an excuse to write one of those holiday gift-giving guides that pop up in newspapers this time of year. It works for technology writers who go through all the great new gadgets out there, or music writers who list the new Christmas albums. Heck, we do it here at the BDN all the time – an outdoor columnist will reveal the newest equipment or a shopping writer will let us in on some great holiday deals.

But what place was there for gift giving in a dating column? How was I going to help anyone buy presents for a date?

Then it hit me – appropriate gift giving takes a lot of thought and it’s crucial to the holidays. And tricky, too, especially if you’re in a relationship.

This won’t be a guide to the latest gifts – I’ll let my colleagues cover those angles. Hopefully, however, this column can be more of a helping hand for the gift giver. The issue of holiday presents can be very touchy, very tricky, and awfully confusing. It’s especially so if you’re in a new relationship or want to make an impression on someone you’d like to be in a relationship with.

First of all, you need to decide for yourself on just how much you want to spend. Don’t break the bank. Please. Not only will the credit card bills come back to haunt you, at which point the relationship might be over or might never have taken off at all, but an expensive present puts pressure on the recipient.

Second, keep in mind that one quality present can trump three or four cheaper things.

The ultimate challenge is to find something safe but creative. Safety is important because you want something that the recipient will actually use. Creativity is key because you want to make an impression.

Looking to give presents to a man? This is totally easy.

Anything that plugs in, or is played, or shown on some kind of screen will probably work just fine. I know, I know – not all guys like gadgets. But this is a safe gift, and you can definitely use some creativity.

Say you’re dealing with a fan of the movie “Ocean’s Eleven.” Lots of guys (and girls) love this movie, but I think of it as a more masculine film.

But, you’re thinking, he already has it saved on his digital video recorder. Plus the DVD with the extras. And the video game. And the soundtrack.

There are plenty of other options. How about the original Rat Pack version of the film, which was made in 1960, or another movie in the same vein, like “The Italian Job,” or another slick George Clooney movie, like “Out of Sight” or “Three Kings”?

Web sites like Amazon.com are great for gift ideas, because they show you what other customers bought along with the book or movie you’re looking for.

Last year I gave a gift of a six-month subscription to Rolling Stone. Ladies, that went over quite well.

Women, however, are a bit trickier, to buy for. I like to think we require a bit more finesse. But the same rules apply – safe but creative.

Maybe you’re thinking jewelry. This is definitely the time to keep it simple. Simple jewelry is elegant jewelry. Get creative with a colorful stone – just make sure you know what you’re doing. I’m a big fan of blue topaz, which looks pretty on most women and doesn’t have the same heavy meaning that a diamond does. Remember, we’re trying to make a good impression, not propose marriage. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe the best present we can give each other at this time of year is time and consideration. Spend an evening doing something the other person wants to do – if you’re dating a sports nut, why not agree to spend a few hours watching the NFL playoffs or college football bowl games? If you’re spending time with a movie buff, how about an evening of classics?

Making time for someone. Doing something they want to do. Safe, simple, and these days, surprisingly creative.

Jessica Bloch can be reached at jbloch@bangordailynews.net