Give birth the way you choose

My sister performed a radical political act in Winterport recently. She gave birth to her baby. It was beautiful to watch and gut-wrenching and oh-so-clear that it was right.

We played cribbage between her contractions in early labor, she ate pomegranate and a buttered biscuit, we watched a movie on pay-per-view. I was so proud of my sister and impressed by the absence of hurry or fear in her house. Sure, when things got really cooking she was afraid of pain and being ripped apart, but the midwife was calm, her husband was calm and she let it

all happen because everything was OK.

The most radical part of the birth began months before when she said no to the scheduled C-section that was the only “choice” offered at the hospital. She said no to fear that V-BAC (vaginal birth after a Caesarean) was unsafe.

Sometimes a C-section is performed when a woman or baby is truly in danger (Thank you, modern obstetrics.) Too many of us, however, are handed other reasons for our C-sections – big baby, small pelvis, failure to progress – that leave us feeling confused, ashamed, afraid of the inadequacies of our bodies. We repeat what we’ve been told: “What matters is that I have a healthy baby, not which door she came out.”

But after the dust settles and we remember our labor and birth, and we start to hear other birth stories, about women pushing their babies out with a primal yell, we feel something else. Like cheated. We want a chance to try again to give birth as our prehistoric grandmothers, facing our fears head-on, having that urge to push that is stronger than fear, holding our wet babies the second they’re born.

Then, when we get pregnant again our OBs tell us vaguely that we’re not good candidates for V-BAC. A rare obstetrician tells use we can try V-BAC, but as the pregnancy progresses we are urged to avoid danger and schedule that repeat cesarean.

Who’s going to argue when “danger” and “baby” are used in the same sentence? We’re not all as brave as my sister. Once in a while we’re respected enough to be told the truth, that it’s a matter of liability insurance.

I hope the political climate turns back around soon.

Meanwhile, I urge women to consider home birth. If you want to be in a hospital, be informed, read the research. (V-BAC’s are safe.) Don’t get pushed into a fear-based “decision.”

Make noise about your right to give birth the way you choose.

My sister pushed her nine-pound baby into the skillful hands of her midwife who suctioned the meconium from his airways and somersaulted him out of the cord that was around his neck. Had she needed an emergency transport to the hospital, it was a phone call away.

But she didn’t need it. She had everything she needed: warm water, a sister, a midwife, and most of all trust that her body knew what it was doing.

Denyse Wilson is a stay-at-home

mom who lives in Bangor.