DVD Corner

“The Cave”: Spelunked. In the dark reaches of the cave in question, director Bruce Hunt finds something unexpected – no, not Osama, but the vault in which Twentieth Century Fox apparently has stored its “Alien” franchise, which Hunt has ripped off. Rock-jawed Cole Hauser is Jack, the humorless leader of a mission that leads several people into the Carpathian Mountains in search of a new ecosystem. Joining him are a melting pot of the world’s best-looking scientists, divers and documentarians, most of whom could have funded this entire expedition by ditching their clothing and putting out a calendar. Every one of the movie’s surprises is packaged. People get picked off, the screen shakes, monsters roar, the prettiest survive. The ending is especially a cheat, with no closure reached and thus only existing with the hopes of a sequel. Rated: PG-13. Grade: C-

“The Dukes of Hazzard: The Complete Fifth Season”: After W’s Christmas Eve pardoning of three moonshiners, you have to wonder whether he’s a fan of this long-running CBS series. Could it be that Condi, of all people, left this eight-disc boxed set under his tree? Don’t rule it out. In this fifth season of “Hazzard,” viewers get more of the same wrapped in more of the same, with good ol’ boys Bo and Luke Duke (John Schneider, Tom Wopat) fulfilling their dreams of becoming NASCAR drivers while Uncle Jesse (Denver Pyle) tends to the booze brewing in the back woods. With Boss Hogg trying to foil the Dukes at every turn, it usually comes down to the lure of Daisy Duke’s derriere to throw him off balance. All of this hillbilly havoc is about as imaginative as a wayward lug nut, but after knocking back a few 40s and raising hell with your DVD player, it probably has its appeal. Grade: C

“The Gilmore Girls: The Complete Fifth Season”: Given the names of several key characters – Sookie St. James, Luke Danes, Logan Huntzberger – and especially the show’s location in Stars Hollow, Conn., you expect “The Gilmore Girls” to be far soapier than it is. But with its core relationship focused on the lives of single-mother Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter, Rory, who has just returned from Europe and now is about to start her second year at Yale as the fifth season opens, this show is and always has been for families, so the dilemmas are steeped less in camp than in its privileged idea of reality. Quirky New England characters and old money round out the landscape, which is occasionally too precious for its own good. Still, this mildly amusing, well-acted series is wise enough not to hit us too hard over the heads about how difficult it can be to grow up, whether you’re a child or an adult. Grade: B+

“Red Eye”: No screen fatigue here. Wes Craven’s “Red Eye” is among the director’s finest efforts, a lean, focused thriller that concentrates much of its claustrophobic terror within the not-so-friendly skies. The film stars Rachel McAdams as Lisa Reisert, a hotel manager who finds herself in a tense game of cat-and-mouse when she meets cute with Jackson Rippner (Cillian Murphy), a fellow passenger also stranded at LAX who comes to demand something from Lisa that’s unthinkable. Throughout the movie are traces of Hitchcock infused with de Palma’s slick, sloping camerawork. It’s all sold to you by Craven, who tips his hat to them without forgetting to wear his own. A fine, kinetic film, with Craven unleashing a new, modern-day monster. Rated: PG-13. Grade: B+

“SeaQuest DSV: Season One”: Sci-fi via the deep, with some characters sporting gills, others able to bend objects with their minds, and a talking dolphin named Darwin who likes to have his say (though sometimes you wish he wouldn’t). Throughout the first season of this ill-fated series, the echoes of “Star Trek” are intentional, with Roy Scheider and company exploring the United Earth Oceans and taking their share of heat in the mid-21st century. The effects are cheap, but the writing is good. Look for an over-the-top performance by William Shatner (is there any other sort of performance by William Shatner?) as an evil dictator in the episode “Hide and Seek.” If this four-disc set disappoints, it’s because it offers only deleted scenes and no commentary about the backstage melodramas that eventually killed the show soon after its middling second season. Grade: B

“The Shield: Complete Fourth Season”: Introduces Glenn Close to the cast and gets a shot of life in the process. This fourth season of “The Shield” finds the Barn busting at its seams, with egos clashing, internal and external dramas festering, and Michael Chiklis’ Napoleonic complex bringing its usual manic energy. Includes an excellent featurette, “Under the Skin,” which gets to the pulse of the show, going behind the scenes with each cast member as they work through the creative process. It’s unusually good, as this show can be when the drugs are running and the politics are brewing. Only 13 episodes, but among the best television of its sort. Grade: A-

“Transporter 2”: Jason Statham back in the stubble as transporter Frank Martin. Here, he is schlepping for a U.S. drug czar and his unhappy wife (Matthew Modine, Amber Valletta), who have hired Frank to drive their 6-year-old son, Jack (Hunter Clary), to and from school and to the occasional doctor’s appointment. Circumstances lead Frank and Jack to Lola (Kate Nauta), a nearly naked she-killer in 6-inch stiletto heels who is working for an oily assassin (Alessandro Gassman) with an ugly plan to undo them all. Creatively choreographed gunfights, fistfights and well-conceived pyrotechnics trump logic. Statham is dependable, though it’s still uncertain whether he can act. Probably doesn’t matter. What he has is the action hero’s necessary bald pate and pumped-up physique. In this genre, that’s half the battle. Rated: PG-13. Grade: B-

“The Wedding Crashers: Uncorked”: It has nothing on the year’s best comedy, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” but this tweaked, “uncorked” version of “The Wedding Crashers” does mine additional laughs and more liberating moments of blatant insincerity. The film’s best element is the inspired casting of Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, who make for a fine comedic pairing that helps to grease over the film’s shortcomings, such as the bloated running time. The DVD includes a tempting crash course in wedding crashing. So, crash away. Unrated. Grade: B-