A dance with Dad Bangor’s annual Valentine’s event remains a chaotic but sweet tradition

Dads: There are a few things you can expect to happen at the father-daughter Valentine dance.

Your daughter will want a fancy dress, nice shoes, and a trip to the beauty parlor beforehand. She’ll need a corsage. And you’ll need a boutonniere. She’ll probably expect dinner. She may even angle for a manicure.

She’ll expect to be treated like a princess, of course.

Just don’t expect her to dance with you.

No offense. It has nothing to do with your fox trot or your waltz. She really couldn’t care less if you have two left feet. But her friends will be in the conga line. And there will be lots of sugary snacks and punch. And a DJ playing the chicken dance.

This can only mean one thing.

“Chaos,” Kristi King, recreation programmer for Bangor Parks and Rec, said, laughing.

The Father & Daughter Valentine Dance has been a Bangor tradition since the late 1970s, and King has served as a bouncer of sorts for the last five years, keeping would-be crashers (aka overzealous moms with cameras) outside.

Sometimes, things at the door get a little dicey – dads have been known to show up to the sold-out dance without tickets, befrocked daughters in tow, pleading for sympathy. And it’s not unheard of for mothers to sneak quietly by as soon as King turns her back.

But inside, there’s no trickery, no wheedling. Just a scene as sweet as candy hearts and chocolate kisses.

“I love going every year,” Elizabeth Dana, 10, of Bangor said. “I’m so excited every year. It’s just a fun time to just spend time with your dad. You’re with all of your friends, you all get dressed up.”

The event is open to girls ages 5 to 12, and Friday night’s dance will be Liz’s sixth appearance with her dad, Robert Dana. He’s the father of “three red-headed daughters,” ranging in age from 10 to 18, and he looks forward to what has become an annual tradition.

“It’s quite a spectacle, lots of people, all beautifully dressed, full of expectation, and the fathers are all happy,” Dana said. “The moment that stands out is when my daughter comes down the stairs and we’re ready to leave. It’s a very supercharged, positive moment.”

This year, Liz has chosen a white dress accented with flowers and pink lace, to her father’s delight.

“He thinks it’s beautiful,” she said.

They’ll meet up with Liz’s friends and their fathers for dinner at Bugaboo Creek. The dads bought tickets weeks ago, because the dance sells out early and nobody wants to miss it. Even though it’s a bit like junior high – the girls all hang out on the dance floor and the guys chat on the sidelines – it’s a “tender moment,” Dana says.

“It’s a time to just define what’s important, that is, time together,” he said. “Savoring these happy easy moments – it’s a time to just be there, not to worry about what we so often worry about.”

The dads may not worry, but their daughters do. This year, David Lunn’s 9-year-old daughter, Johanna, decided it was time to do something about her dad’s attire. First, she asked what he was planning to wear. Then she went through his closet and picked out an outfit.

“She thinks I need to buy a different tie,” Lunn said, laughing. “She’s pretty much taken over this thing at this point.”

Though Lunn says he’ll only get one dance with Johanna, he may be mistaken. Despite the sugar-fueled conga lines and the girls-only huddles, the daughters cherish the moment, too.

“They’re adorable – they’re so cute,” Kristi King said. “I’d say 99 percent of them are like little princesses.”

Robert Dana’s little princess is looking forward to dancing with her dad to “Brown Eyed Girl,” and he is looking forward to the whole event. He urges dads who may be feeling a little sheepish to relax and have fun.

“Open your arms up to the experience,” Dana said. “Open your heart up. Be a kid again. Remember, it’s a special opportunity and these times slip away really quickly.”

Kristen Andresen can be reached at 990-8287 and kandresen@bangordailynews.net.

Father & Daughter dances

The Father & Daughter Valentine Dance is open to girls ages 5 to 12 and will take place from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 10, at the Bangor Civic Center. Tickets cost $15 per couple for Bangor residents, $20 per couple for nonresidents, and $2 for each extra daughter. You must have tickets to attend. For tickets, stop by the Bangor Parks and Recreation building at 647 Main St., Bangor.

Another father-daughter dance will take place from 6 to 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at White Birches in Ellsworth. A limited number of tickets is available for $12 apiece at Ruth Foster’s in Ellsworth, 667-2593.