Mother of slain gay man urges Colby College students to ‘talk’

WATERVILLE – The mother of Matthew Shepard, a gay man beaten to death in Wyoming, told 200 people at Colby College on Wednesday that they need to put a face on issues surrounding anti-gay sentiment and violence.

“Talk. Talk. Talk,” said Judy Shepard. “Tell your stories. Education is the only answer.”

Her 21-year-old son was beaten, tortured and left to die tied to a fence in a Wyoming sheep field in 1998.

When she rushed to his hospital bedside, Shepard said, he had been so savagely beaten that she was able to recognize her son only by his eye color, a bump on his ear and his braces.

She said her son’s offense, according to testimony at the resulting trial of his two male killers, was being gay.

Judy Shepard has spent the past six years lobbying in Washington and speaking to young people across the country about hate crimes. “I’m not a professional speaker,” said the high school social studies teacher. “I’m a mom. A mom with a story.”

“I do this not just so there will be no more Matthews, but so there will be no more men like those who killed Matthew,” she said.

Shepard said the root of anti-gay bashing and violence in the United States is ignorance. “And the answer is to educate, educate, educate.”

“You don’t understand how important one voice can be,” she said.

She described her son as a loving, vibrant, kind young man who early in life showed a deep interest in theater, politics and current events. “He was a good and loyal friend,” she said, “and was always eager for the next stage of his life.”

“He was my constant reminder of how good life can be and, ultimately, how awful it can be,” she said.

Shepard said her son’s death occurred because his killers “learned to hate.” She described society as silent, indifferent and complacent.

Shepard commended Maine for being one of only 15 states that protect the rights of gay, lesbian and transgendered people, and she ticked off five additional actions she said Maine people could take: register to vote, be an educated voter, vote, be an educated constituent and “tell your stories.”

Acknowledging that “coming out” is an extremely difficult thing to do, Shepard said, the alternative is far worse. “You need to be who you are. If you can’t, you will always be half of a person,” she said. “You are who you are. You love who you love. Putting a face on the issues is the only way it will change.”

She called for reform in school bullying policies and the way schools address gay, lesbian and transgendered people. She also called for reform in adoption and marriage laws for same-sex couples. “This is a civil rights issue,” she said.