I LOVE IKEA ShopGirl swoons over store’s low-priced and (often) high-quality wares

I had a religious experience last week.

I wasn’t at church. I didn’t get saved – although I did save.

No, my friends. I was at IKEA. And though I was physically in New Haven, Conn., I was mentally in shopping heaven.

As I ascended the escalator toward the (fluorescent) light, I half-expected a choir of angels to serenade me as I walked from one cheap-chic showroom to the next.

Until this recent visit, my only knowledge of IKEA came from the Web, catalogs and my friends’ sleek kitchen cabinets. People told me how wonderful it was. How great the deals are. How delicious the Swedish meatballs with lingonberries were.

But nothing could’ve prepared me for the bliss I felt when I saw the spice rack of my dreams for $19.99. Or the perfect pendant lamps for $7.99. Or a heavy iron chandelier for $29.99.

I had to pinch myself, because I really couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Sure, there’s a fair amount of dorm-room-quality merchandise there. And I’ve only sat on one IKEA couch that was comfortable. But the Swedes are really on to something here. Let’s just say it was far more enjoyable – and far less expensive – than my previous experience with another Swedish export: the Saab.

The melding of high design and low prices isn’t exactly novel, but the IKEA concept is unique. It shares elements of other stores, most notably the warehouse feel of Sam’s Club, the affordable elan of Target and the showroom setup of almost any furniture store. But the overall experience is like nothing else.

For starters, once you’re in, you can’t get out. I mean, I’m sure there’s some escape route, but the floor plan is such that you have to pass through every part of the store to get to the exit. Normally, this would be frightening, but at IKEA, it feels right. Also, everything has a name. Not like “lamp” or “end table.” Like Noresund (a mirror) and Bastant (a basket). Then there’s the restaurant, where you can get a real meal – salmon with dill sauce, a full breakfast for 99 cents, and those delicious meatballs – for pocket change.

IKEA has a playroom, where you can drop off the kids with a sitter while you shop. If you buy more than your trunk can hold, IKEA provides shipping materials, as well as racks and twine to tie your new futon to the car’s roof. Near the entrance, you can pick up pencils, a shopping list and a measuring tape. They’ve really thought of everything.

However, it helps if you’ve thought of everything, as well. My friend, colleague and partner-in-crime Alicia waited patiently as I wandered wide-eyed through the marketplace, retracing my footsteps as I realized yet another item I forgot.

I called ShopGuy about 40 times during my shopping trip, asking him to measure walls and fixtures at home. Next time, I’ll measure, study my catalog and make a list before I go because it’s SO easy to get sidetracked. Of course, now that IKEA delivers to Maine, I could order online, but where’s the fun in that?

Since I was an IKEA neophyte, I made certain assumptions that turned out to be all wrong. Because almost everything is packaged in cardboard, it’s easy to confuse one bathroom shelf for another, which I did.

Blinded by the ridiculously low price of the brushed-stainless pendant lamps for our kitchen, I failed to notice that they had plugs and were not meant to be hardwired to a switch – as it turns out, this was not impossible to fix. I also failed to notice the lack of ceiling cups (those little discs that hide the hole you made for the wiring), so we had to get some at The Home Depot. That brought the total cost per fixture to a whopping $12.

The prices alone are enough to lure anyone to the altar of IKEA. Coffee cups for 50 cents. Picture frames for $1.50 each. Spice jars four for $2.99. I have no idea how the company makes any profit, but I do know that IKEA prides itself on social and environmental responsibility (read, sweatshop-free). Perhaps my Saab repairs subsidized some of this stuff.

No matter, I’m a convert. In fact, I might just rent a 16-passenger van, take out all the seats and plan my next vacation around IKEA. I’ve heard Stoughton, Mass., is lovely in springtime. And Paramus, N.J.?

Simply divine.

For more information, to request a catalog or to shop online, visit www.IKEA-usa.com or call (800) 434-IKEA. The closest IKEA to Maine is located 260 miles away in Stoughton, Mass.