O say, can you sing the anthem?

Tom Weber, of the Bangor Daily News, and I may be candidates for tarring and feathering – if they’re still doing that. We both find our national anthem, in his words, a “bellicose anthem,” that is absolutely “unsingable.” I’ve thought that for years and Weber’s May 2 column corroborates that idea.

He wrote this column as a fall-out from the uproar of the recent Spanish version of the anthem.

If I could have the power to make one dramatic change, it would be to replace our national anthem with a more singable and shorter piece of music with less violent lyrics.

In the first place, the national anthem is much too long. A gold-medallist in any Olympic competition must stand atop the highest pedestal an inordinately long time while the anthem is being played. It goes on forever as winners from other countries must endure its length. The music to our anthem, in a word, drags.

Boy, how it drags! (The only other country which comes to close to matching ours for endurance is France.)

Then there is the problem of the vocal range of the anthem. It takes a Metropolitan Opera star to manage the almost two octaves of the piece. Even Renee Fleming or Placido Domingo (does he have U.S. citizenship, I wonder?) could manage such a vocal workout.

The vocal stretch is impossible. No wonder so many Americans drop out of the singing when the high notes become so rough, not to mention those who drop out because they can’t remember all the words. Shall we discuss the non-musical sounds coming from some collective voices that resemble a pond full of frogs croaking into the air?

Some of the lyrics of the national anthem are downright violent. Do we really need the “rocket’s red glare,” and “bombs bursting in air,” in these troubled times? Don’t we have enough of that on the evening news?

When children and adults are troubled an traumatized, therapists and psychologists suggest calm and soothing music, not loud blasts and brassy cacophony. We need a gentler anthem.

I am advocating a substitution for our national anthem, either “America, the Beautiful,” or, my personal choice, Irving Berlin’s “God Bless America.” I know, I know, not every American subscribes to God-belief, but many Americans – I’m one of them – don’t subscribe, support, or defend “bombs bursting in air,” and “rocket’s red glare,” either.

Consider the specific lyrics of “God Bless America.”

God Bless America/Land that I love…

From the mountains, to the prairies,

To the oceans, white with foam,

God bless America/My home sweet home.

All regions of the country – mountains, prairies, oceans – are embraced without a single mention of warfare or killing.

Then there are the lyrics of “America the Beautiful.”

… amber waves of grain … purple mountain majesties … the fruited plain

God shed his grace on thee,

And thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea.

No warfare. No killing. No bombs or rockets.

We could, however, be in trouble with the feminists with “crown thy good with brotherhood.” That may require alteration.

There are thousands of Americans who would help raise a loud cry of protests, I know. “Listen, buddy, my father (or husband, wife, brother, uncle, niece) died for our flag and our national anthem. They loved our country and paid the supreme price for it, so keep your opinions to yourself.”

In understand such emotional defense; I really do. But times and circumstances change. When Francis Scott Key, during the War of 1812, wrote what was to become the national anthem, things were different. We’re talking musical demands here, not rabid patriotism; high notes and long, violent phrases, not loyalty to one’s country.

Please don’t tar and feather Weber – or me – for patriotic disloyalty. We’re both in agreement: We need a shorter, more singular national anthem. That’s all.

Ralph Pettie is a resident of Blue Hill.