Remember hat etiquette on Father’s Day

Hats off to all fathers this weekend. Hats off to all sons who will become fathers.

Let’s just say it and get it over with: Hats off, you guys!

Hats off at a Memorial Day program outside when the red maples – and the American flag – are blowing in a coastal wind. Hats off in a graduation ceremony inside when young adults proudly walk up the aisle, over the stage, to receive their prestigious diplomas.

Hats off when the occasion warrants it, and when in doubt – take off the hats. It just may be the courteous thing to do.

In this crazy, informal society, we have witnessed grown men standing at a graveside service with beanies on. We have seen men stand while the high school band plays the national anthem and never think to take off their caps.

We have been in university classrooms where male students have never been reminded to take off their baseball caps, let alone told to quit chomping on a bagel and drinking spring water while the instructor stands at a lectern.

Call me old-fashioned, but don’t call me alone. Two recent letters to the editor of this paper suggest that others out there are disturbed – and perturbed – about the discourteous practice of wearing hats at inappropriate times.

Like inside a restaurant. Like inside a concert hall. Like inside any building, for that matter. Like inside the federal building, a courthouse, in Bangor, where young men stood in line, complete with baseball hats on – turned backward to boot.

So dads, fathers and pops, as you celebrate your designated weekend, remember what one letter writer said: “Poppity Pin Poppity Pin. Boys must take their hats off when they come in.”

And, moms out there, when was the last time you instructed your young son to remove his hat at a piano recital or Fourth of July parade when the Color Guard passed by? When, at a football or baseball game, did you ask your son to hold his hat during the singing of the national anthem? When was he asked to hold his hat while the Pledge of Allegiance – or a prayer of benediction – was recited?

In the old days, my daddy wore a hat just about everywhere he went: to work, to church, to put out the garbage, to the grocery store. Daddy’s hats covered his bald head, and made him look dapper. He even tipped his hat to elderly women he met on the street, a custom long gone and nearly forgotten.

But I never saw my father in a hat when it was inappropriate, disrespectful or discourteous. Someone – his father perhaps – taught him when and when not to wear a hat, when to remove it and hold it by his side.

Now, it’s up to today’s fathers. Remember what Lord Chesterfield said: “A man’s own good breeding is the best security against other people’s ill manners.” Someone else urged that we “never underestimate the power of simple courtesy. Your courtesy may not be returned or remembered, but discourtesy will.”

So, out of respect for you, we say: Hats off to you on Father’s Day. Now, will you all start using your heads?