ORONO – When educators get together the conversation usually is about how to make students feel welcome in school. But a discussion during the Middle Level Education Institute at the University of Maine this week focused instead on how schools can involve parents and make them feel appreciated and connected.

“Most parents want to be part of their child’s school,” Sandy Nevens, who will be principal at Warsaw Middle School in Pittsfield beginning this year, told participants on Wednesday.

“Some schools unintentionally make parents feel unwelcome while others go out of their way to make them feel involved,” said Nevens, who offered a number of strategies that he used to engage parents during his recent four-year tenure as assistant principal and principal at Camden-Rockport Middle School.

Among his recommendations:; surveying parents about whether they feel welcome at school and what issues they are concerned about; explaining school policy changes in a weekly newsletter to parents; holding evening discussions with parents; inviting the local parent-teacher organization to hold its meetings at the school; involving parents in decision-making; and greeting the students by name when they are dropped off at school.

“Everything I did was with the idea of making a better school,” he said.

Approximately 100 teachers and administrators from throughout the state gathered for the middle level conference to discuss techniques that can help improve learning and teaching at middle schools.

The annual event is sponsored by the University of Maine College of Education and Human Development.

Nevens told the 20 participants who assembled for his talk that the response to some of his parent-involving techniques surprised even him.

Standing out front each morning greeting students by name, “you wouldn’t believe the reaction I got from parents – honking horns, waving, rolling down the windows and chatting with me. It made a big difference,” he said.

But parents weren’t always happy with him. When Nevens decided to keep only the school’s main entrance unlocked and to ask parents to stop by the office before heading to their child’s classroom, some parents became upset and “felt we were locking them out,” he said.

When he explained in the school’s newsletter that safety concerns had prompted the change, parents understood, Nevens said. The school climate even improved because parents got to know the friendly office staff, he added.

After parents said they were uncomfortable having their fifth- and sixth-graders attend dances with seventh- and eighth-graders, Nevens decided to limit the social event to older students only.

“That let parents know they were heard,” he said. But he didn’t stop there. He scheduled activity nights just for the fifth- and sixth-graders.

“Guess who helped out? The parents!” he said. “They thanked us – ‘Wow, look what you provided for us and our kids!'”

Nevens said he was most proud about the “Evening Talks” he conducted for parents. They discussed anti-bullying techniques; helping children prepare for tests; and Web sites that could be potentially dangerous. He also provided information about the middle school philosophy which focuses on creating both academic and personal connections between teachers and students.

Inviting the local parent teacher association to meet in the building was another step toward making parents feel welcome, Nevens said. In the past, “the PTA would send in checks for projects but no one ever saw them,” he said.

Asking parents for advice and input when decisions need to be made also goes a long way, Nevens said he found out. “It tells them that they have a voice in the school and that we want to hear what they have to say,” he said.

Anne Blanchard, who will be principal at Presque Isle Middle School beginning this year, was enthusiastic about Nevens’ suggestions. Parents seem to become less involved in school when their children reach the higher grades, she said after the meeting.

She especially liked the idea of holding an evening discussion group. “Parents can feel so isolated,” she said.