Soap operas have a certain appeal, even for men

“Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”

These immortal words, pronounced by the late McDonald Carey, used to signal the opening of the soap opera “Days of Our Lives,” every morning at 9 a.m.

NBC announced this week that DOOL would be continued after all, after 41 years. I was happy for the Brady gang, whom I met in the 1980s.

Back when the “Today Show” actually had some news, I watched it religiously every morning. If I sat there in front of the boob tube, when “Today” closed, on came McDonald Carey and DOOL.

At first I laughed at the stupid plots in which someone always had amnesia and someone else was in a coma. No one ever really died.

Then I noticed the babes.

First there was gorgeous Deidre Hall, who played the angelic Marlena. Well, she was angelic until she turned into the Salem Stalker, a mass murderer who killed most of the cast. I think it was an effort to trim payroll, but the fans left the show along with the “murdered” actors. There was talk about axing the show. You may have missed that, but it was a big deal to DOOL fans.

There is a massive shakeup planned, along with the return of long dead “Patch,” played by Steven Nichols. No one stays dead for long on “Days.”

I started watching DOOL in the 1980s during the creation of Cobb Manor when homeless pals Larry and Grady moved in to pay the mortgage.

My secret pleasure of watching DOOL unfortunately became public knowledge.

Larry, a tortured intellectual, berated me for wasting my time watching such pap. While he was ranting, he glanced at the television. “Hey, that’s Shannon Tweed, the Playmate of the Year.” Then, he sat down and watched. Larry is a charter member of Cobb Manor, since he made me buy the place, then dubbed it “Cobb Manor.”

Grady unfortunately caught me at a very weak moment, at one of Marlena’s many funerals. She came down the stairs, late for work, just in time to catch me sniffling as Marlena’s orphaned children filed into the church.

“Pitiful,” she said, on her way out the door. She told everyone.

I didn’t care as long as they kept hiring those babes.

DOOL was where I discovered the luscious Lisa Renna, who played the evil Billy Reed, before she graduated to “Melrose Place.” I caught her and her magnificent abs on that celebrity dancing show. “She used to be on ‘Days,'” I told everyone. They didn’t seem to care.

There was Kristian Alfonso and her perfect face. There was Charlotte Ross, as the teen hooker Eve Donovan, who graduated all the way to “NYPD Blue” and an affair (I swear) with Sipowicz.

There were a few guys on the cast, too.

The cornball, double-evil villain was Victor, played by John Anniston. After decades on television he is best known for fathering daughter Jennifer.

I always remember Drake Hogestyn, who played John. I think he was the worst actor I ever saw anywhere, plus he played third base for a Yankee minor league team. Plus, he was always pawing my Marlena.

Over the years the bad acting and worse scripts turned me away from the ladies of DOOL. Even I couldn’t bear to watch. NBC execs have served notice that the extension is granted with the condition that the stars return and the ratings increase.

Otherwise DOOL has run out of “sands through the hourglass.”

Don’t tell anyone I used to watch it.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.