The death of manners in America

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The word “civil” is part of the word “civilization,” but I’m not sure that we have either one any more. Is it just my imagination, or has there been a great decline in manners over the past 20 years? And if so, what are the reasons? The stress of modern life? The fact that most people are now working 60 to 80 hours a week – and still find it hard to pay their bills? And as a result, they spend less time with their children? Probably all of the above.

In the past, stories of “road rage” were rare. Now they are commonplace and no longer “news.” Returning people’s phone calls was the norm and expected; now it is rare.

Other examples:

? A recording that begins “Your call is important to us….” If it’s so darn important to you, then why don’t have someone answer it?

? The use of the middle finger among drivers on the highway has become so common, you would think they were all experts in sign language.

? A lady named Paris Hilton, with no discernible talent other than oral sex, has become rich and famous. (Oh, wait a minute, she already was rich.) Tom Cruise gets pretty Katie Holmes pregnant – then waits more than a year to marry her (At this writing, not yet.)

? A friend says: “Let me put you on hold. I have a call coming in.”

? A judge orders a Muslim woman beheaded because she dated a Christian.

? Sales calls during your dinner hour that begin with a recorded message. The least they could do would be to let you talk to Bandar in Bombay, India, in person.

? Finally, here it is: the All-Stars list of winners of the Bad Manners Contest:

Charles Manson

Sirhan Sirhan

Lee Harvey Oswald

Lorena Bobbitt

Michael Jackson

Dick “Duck!” Cheney

Salami bin Loader – or whatever his name is.

Tonya Harding

Scott Peterson

Caligula

Bill O’Reilly

Phil Spector

Jeffrey Dahmer

And finally, last but not least: Adolf Hitler.

But it would be nice to end this on a positive note, so here it is: I work at a little high school on Maine’s midcoast. During the two years I have been there, I have noticed that if you do something nice for a young man, the response usually is: “Uhn.” Sometimes you get an “un-huh” and occasionally a “whatever.”

But if you do something nice for a young lady, the response usually is: “Thank you so much, Mr. Allen” or “Mr. Allen, thank you so much.”

Where do girls learn this? From their moms?

For the past couple of years, there have been more girls than boys going to colleges and universities, and as a result of this, in a couple more years, girls will hold all of the best jobs and basically rule the world.

It can’t happen too soon, as far as I am concerned.

I look forward to it.

Stephen Allen is a retired journalist who works five days a week as an AmeriCorps VISTA coordinator at Searsport District High School.