Nothing super about SciFi’s new series

Superman may have returned to the big screen, but he’d hang up his cape out of embarrassment if he knew what was on SciFi.

The station has partnered with Stan Lee, comic book writer and creator of “Spiderman,” “The Hulk,” and “The X-Men,” to find the next superhero.

As The Man on the Couch said, reality shows have gone from reality to stupidity with “Who Wants to be a Superhero?” Although he was a fan of some of the scantily clad female superheroes, the men in tights weren’t very appealing.

I can’t imagine anyone in this cast of characters becoming the next superhero to stand with the likes of Spiderman and The Fantastic Four.

At the end of the six-week competition, one superhero will be immortalized in a comic book created by Stan Lee and also will star in a SciFi original movie.

“Every really good superhero has what’s important on the inside,” Lee tells the competitors. He wants to see heart, compassion, courage and integrity.

I’m not sure how much integrity Monkey Woman, Cell Phone Girl or any of the others have.

The best way to explain how ridiculous this show is, is to run through some of the cast of competitors.

Cell Phone Girl: Her super high-tech powers include a camera phone that can scan an area, magnify it up to four times and memorize it like a picture. She also can plug into the Internet and download any required information into her brain. “If you need anything, just call.”

The Iron Enforcer: He’s proud of his power to kill and has named his weapons Judgement and Mercy. His character has been injected with the DNA of a gorilla, a lion and a rhinoceros. “Always outnumbered, never outgunned.”

Fat Momma: With special power moves such as The Fat Clap and The Super Burp, she is able to fly, stomp and smash her enemies with her hands. Her theme song, which she sang to Lee during her audition, goes something like this: “Fat Momma, Fat Momma, I’m here to save the day. Fat Momma, Fat Momma, I’ll take your food away.”

Feedback: After playing a videogame, he is able to temporarily emulate the powers of the game. “Game on!”

Monkey Woman: The strangest of them all in my opinion, she has six bananas strapped to her costume that act as weapons – and one for a snack.

I’d tell you not to watch when the series debuts on SciFi at 9 p.m. Thursday, July 27, but I couldn’t wait to get home and pop this preview in the DVD player to see just how ridiculous it really is. See for yourself, but remember, I warned you.