I am sooooo lucky.

At the beginning of July, my best friend got married. I was the matron of honor. There were four other bridesmaids.

I have to admit, every time I am asked to be in a wedding, the second thing that crosses my mind (after the initial feeling of honor at being included in such a special occasion) is the dress. I mean, we’ve all seen what can happen when good brides meet bad taste. It’s a match made in hell.

For this wedding, there was no need to fret. Not only did Monique’s mom make our dresses by hand, but they were adorable. Not even a little bit heinous. Sundresses, lavender with an Empire waist, and flattering as can be on everyone in the wedding party. Even the straw hats were cute.

For my last stint as a bridesmaid, a little over a year ago, the bride chose a simple black wrap dress by Bari-Jay. She accented them with a fuchsia ribbon. They were gorgeous. And they only cost $135, which is bridesmaid-dress equivalent of a dollar and a half. And – gasp! – I might even wear it again.

How did this happen?

In three decades of wedding attendance, I’ve seen all sorts of not-so-fair maidens. And the stories are even worse. There was the filmy white floral dress that a friend wore in a wedding. It was really nice. Until it started pouring. Just what the bride wanted – a wet dress contest in lieu of a receiving line. Then there are the usual suspects: seafoam green satin, poofy sleeves, bubble skirts, tassels, peplum all come to mind, as does the unfortunate chiffon hat my mom had to wear once. As I recall, she wasn’t smiling in any of those pictures.

And speaking of pictures, there tends to be very little tangible evidence of past formalwear indiscretions. When I mentioned I was writing this column, a few female co-workers offered to give me pictures for the “don’ts” portion. One even offered to bring in her own little pink confection.

Suddenly, though, no one could find their pictures. And the dress? Well, the girl’s mom threw it out just last weekend.

Likely story.

But really, I can’t hold this against my colleagues. I hold it against the bridal industry. What other business could get away with charging more than $200 for something so ugly people dispose of it immediately after the cake is cut?

Oh, and that $200? That’s before alterations. One friend, who’s a size 12, was told she needed to order a plus-size, tall dress. There were extra charges for each. Her seamstress ended up cutting about a foot off the hem and taking in the entire dress. Good thing she paid extra for all that fabric.

I’ve learned to take an inch off each measurement when I order a dress over the phone. Every time I have, I’ve ended up with a dress that needed little – if any – alteration.

Fit aside, what is a girl to do when faced with the prospect of peach lace with a hoop skirt? Sure, the styles aren’t as bad as they used to be, but a newer trend is to have the bride choose a color. Then each maid chooses a dress that flatters her figure. I love this idea.

In other great news, catalog retailers such as J. Crew and Chadwick’s now offer elegant, streamlined, affordable dresses that no one would mind wearing again. Banana Republic has a whole host of dresses that are formal enough for a wedding, yet don’t scream “bridesmaid!”

To be fair, I loved my bridesmaids’ dresses. I got them at The Henry’s in Bangor, and they were lovely. Even more so than the simple dresses I initially chose from Thread, which were fab until I saw the price tag – more than $350 a pop. Mine, from Bill Levkoff, were quite a bit less than that.

Even so, they still looked like bridesmaid dresses, and what are you supposed to do with one of those once you’ve worn it? A friend resurrected hers at her sister’s wedding. No one knew the difference. Ardeana Hamlin, my crafty friend and co-worker, used a strip of my sister’s hem as the base of my ring pillow. She mentioned that an acquaintance had her wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses stitched into a quilt for herself and her matron of honor.

Now that’s what I call recycling. I once wore a friend’s teal green bridesmaid dress to a prom when I was in high school. In retrospect, I should’ve skipped the whole ensemble, especially the hair. But I really want to know, what the heck are you supposed to do with all those dresses?

With that in mind, this month I’m offering not one, but two great giveaways. For starters, I’m asking readers to send in pictures of the most horrible bridesmaid dress they’ve had the misfortune of wearing. The winner – or loser, depending on how you look at it, will receive a $25 gift card toward the purchase of a new, practical dress. For our second giveaway, Ardeana Hamlin and I will choose the best creative reuse of a bridesmaid dress. The winner of that contest will get a gift card to the craft store of his or her choice.

And remember, dear brides, friends don’t let friends wear seafoam green. Ever. It’s a great big “I don’t.”

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476. Tune in to ShopGirl at 5 p.m. Fridays on WLBZ-2.

Win gift cards!

In honor of wedding season, we’re choosing not one, but two lucky winners in our Un-Bridaled Enthusiasm contest. For the “Worst Bridesmaid Dress” category, readers should send – either by e-mail or by snail mail – a picture of the ugliest dress they’ve worn. Photos from the winner and runners-up will be published in an upcoming ShopGirl column. Please note whether or not you’d like to be identified – we’d be happy to omit your name and black-bar your eyes so as not to embarrass you or the bride.

For the “Creative Reuse” category, please send a brief description and, if possible, a photograph, of the best way you’ve recycled a bridesmaid dress. Ardeana Hamlin and I will determine the winner.

Winners will be announced in the Aug. 19 ShopGirl column.

To enter, fill out this form, cut it out and mail it to: ShopGirl giveaway, Bangor Daily News, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329. Or, provide pictures along with the following information via e-mail to kandresen@bangordailynews.net. Please use “bridesmaid” in the subject line. Entries must be received by Monday, Aug. 14.

Good luck and, as always, happy shopping!

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