December 26, 2024
Column

Woman supports her friendships through poetry

The typewriter clacks softly as Evelyn Friedman’s 88-year-old fingers turn her feelings into poetry.

“I have so much inside of me that if I didn’t get it out, I’d explode,” she said. “Writing releases things that either bother me or make me happy. I think a lot and there are many things I am passionate about in life.”

This mode of expression is not new to Evelyn, who while in the fifth grade, had a poem published by the school paper.

Sitting in the plush dining room at Sunbury Village in Bangor, where she and Leo, 90, her husband of 63 years, reside, Evelyn reflects on her life and her recent move to Maine.

“I have a lot of friends here [at Sunbury],” she said, as several residents and staff stopped by the table to greet her. “I feel accepted here.”

That feeling of acceptance and a sense of belonging came shortly after she moved in.

“I had an uncle back in Brooklyn [New York] who called me Sunshine from infancy,” she said. “One day, one of the girls here called me Sunshine, unaware of my nickname, and it was just gratifying and warmed the cockles of my heart.” Evelyn felt at home.

She and Leo moved from Brooklyn to Sunbury Village a few years ago to be closer to their son who lives in Glenburn. Another son lives in Texas.

While Evelyn has spent a lifetime writing, she became prolific in her mid-60s when she attended the My Turn program at Kingsborough Community College in Brooklyn. My Turn allows seniors to take classes, tuition-free. She thrived in the academic environment, but it wasn’t always easy.

“I had to take two buses to get [to the college] but I was determined,” she said. “I took classes for 10 years, right up until my husband became ill.”

The English classes rekindled her love of written expression, to the benefit of those around her.

A fellow resident’s daughter, who was about to be married, asked Evelyn to write something for her wedding. Her work is legendary at Sunbury.

“I write a poem for every resident and give each one a flower on birthdays,” she said. “I don’t do it for reward, just the gratitude in their eyes. It’s a good feeling when the person looks at me and says, ‘Oh you do so well.'”

And well she does. While Evelyn is consumed by her writing, it takes only one short visit to her apartment to be struck by her other talent. She sculpts. A couple of busts sit unobtrusively on her china cabinet. A query regarding where they were purchased is met with, “Oh, I did those in art class.” Of course she did.

Evelyn is writing her memoirs and questions about the future bring forth her sense of humor, which she finds “important in life.”

“Well, I have no plans except not to get a serious illness,” she said.

If a positive nature has anything to do with it, she is off to a good start. With her hands always working, her mind always thinking and her heart always loving, she should be all set.

In “Life’s Cycles,” a poem written on May 22, Evelyn’s philosophy shines through:

“No one should go through life alone,

Not even like a regal one, on a throne.

Even from birth, we know the love of another,

The warmth and compassion of a dear mother.

So it should be as we grow older,

Having come through life, even somewhat bolder.

A friend or family member who feels very dear,

To be supportive of each other, and holds you so dear.”

Carol Higgins is director of communications at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA, call 941-2865, e-mail info@eaaa.org, or log on www.eaaa.org.


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