Fan support best when positive and respectful

My son attends Bangor High School this year and he made the varsity soccer team as a freshman. He has been welcomed with open arms at Bangor High, and we are very appreciative of that.

We live in Dedham, where he attended a tiny elementary/middle school, a place where parents, students, and spectators cheered the accomplishments of both teams, regardless of who was winning, and supported their student-athletes simply for giving their best efforts. As a result, the vast majority of our sporting contests were played fairly, and the athletes played for the love of the game, without resorting to trash talk and dirty tactics. In fact, sportsmanship was valued far above winning, and was rewarded, I might add.

I attended the Bangor-Brewer soccer game on Sept. 5 and the competition was fierce. I had always known that the level of play would be more physical and competitive, but I did not expect to see examples of poor sportsmanship, by both players and fans. Suffice it to say, friends of mine from the “Brewer” side came and stood with me on the “Bangor” side for the second half because they were so embarrassed by the behavior of some of the “Brewer” fans.

In addition, my son told me he was heckled several times by a grown man (or men) on the Brewer side as my son took throw-ins or free kicks from that end of the field. My son also said that some of the Brewer players and fans laughed when one of our boys fell to the ground injured. My son was disturbed by this, in spite of the fact that Bangor won the game.

I am not saying that the Bangor fans and players never engage and have never engaged in this behavior now or in the past (I am new to having a child in high school in this area), but from where I stood, I saw fans cheering the good plays of both teams and showing appreciation for a fine and competitive game of soccer. I am in support of rivalries (we all are, I wager), but let’s keep them healthy, positive, and in the proper perspective. We’re all neighbors, and they’re just kids in high school!

In closing, many years from now these boys (and girls!) are not necessarily likely to remember who won and who lost, but they are much more likely to remember playing for a well-coached team where they had fun, made great friends, played “the beautiful game” they love so well, and developed into fine young men (and women) and responsible citizens in the context of the high school educational process. These are life lessons they are learning out there, folks.

Fair play and sportsmanship (by all involved) must be the most important lesson of the day. Show support for your child and your team and be passionate, but let’s try to do so in a positive manner, with decorum and respect.

Melanie Klein-Robbenhaar

Dedham

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