November 22, 2024
Column

RECOVERY WORKS MICHAEL CARNEY “My past made me who I am now”

Editor’s Note: September is National Drug and Alcohol Addiction Recovery Month. To celebrate the success of treatment and recovery programs, and to inspire people struggling with substance abuse and addiction, a dozen Mainers agreed to share their personal stories. “Recovery Works” features these profiles each Thursday in the Well-Being section, replacing the “Finding a Fix” column today and through September.

Michael Carney already had a string of OUIs on his record when, two days after Christmas in 1995, at 8 in the morning, he crashed his vehicle head-on into another. The other driver was permanently and severely disabled. The accident, Michael said, “happened in slow motion. I remember every little detail, and that memory motivates me.”

Charged with being a “habitual drunk driver,” Michael, now 42, was sentenced to 15 years in prison – “it’s a small price to pay for walking out of here with a life,” he said. He’s been clean and sober for about 10 of the 11 years he’s served so far, but says his real transformation didn’t start until three or four years ago, when he began to explore long-buried childhood traumas and feelings of fear and guilt.

“I got to the point where I didn’t have anything more to hide,” he says. “I’m proud of who I am, even my past. My past made me who I am now.” Now assigned to the Bolduc minimum security facility in Warren, Michael is committed to helping others, both inside and outside the prison. He sponsors inmates in 12-step programs and gives talks at public schools around the state.

Though he has apologized to the driver he injured so critically over a decade ago, Michael said, “I don’t think my victim will ever forgive me.”

In or out of prison, users often relapse, he says, because they fail to break away from old acquaintances or are drawn to people who insist on reliving and reminiscing about “the good old days.” His advice? “Don’t give up on yourself. Every day is a day worth fighting for your life. My recovery will always come before anything else, including my family and my work.”

With money he earns working at Bolduc, Michael has purchased a few acres of land in Union. When he’s released, he plans to get an honest job and build a log home. “I want to be able to say ‘I made this; it’s mine, because I’m clean and sober.'”


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