Thank you for being so good to me lately. It was awfully nice of you to bring Target and Old Navy. I’m still not sure how they fit down the chimney. But I guess that’s why you’re Santa and I’m ShopGirl, right? You even stuffed my stocking with Kohl’s, A.C. Moore and Linens ‘n Things. Sure, it’s a little stretched out, but that’s OK, because now there’s more room for goodies.

Which leads me to the real reason for my letter. These are times of excess, Santa. What once seemed like enough is now, well, not even close.

Remember the good old days, when people used to walk five miles, barefoot, in the snow to play PlayStation 2? ShopGuy was downright ecstatic when I bought him one. Nowadays, folks are fighting and biting and shooting people up to get a PS3. They’re selling on eBay for thousands of dollars.

That makes my wish list seem downright humble. All I want are a few new stores. Is that too much to ask? I think not.

I’ve made my list and checked it twice, and though I’ve been a little naughty, I’m usually quite nice. If not for me, do it for Bangor. The Queen City deserves it.

I promise to leave carrots and chilled water for Rudolph and company. And if I recall, chocolate chip is your cookie of choice. Heck, I’ll even leave a glass of frosty milk. And I don’t drink milk. But a guy like you needs all the energy he can get, especially on Dec. 24. Oh, and if I were you, I’d bring a few elves along to the houses that are getting PS3. You might need backup.

Love,

ShopGirl

RENYS. The people of Bangor are among the shrewdest bargain hunters I’ve ever encountered. Why not reward them with this beloved discount chain?

ANN TAYLOR. OK, this is a long shot, but so was the sparkly red bicycle with the banana seat and high-rise handlebars I requested – and received – when I was 7. I need a suit. I’d like one that fits. And I’m not alone.

BANANA REPUBLIC. Ditto above.

MEN’S WEARHOUSE. After suit shopping with ShopGuy, I realized he has the same problem I do. There are plenty of options for people older than us. And plenty of options for people younger than us. But if you’re somewhere in between Abercrombie and Haggar, you’re screwed.

A BANGOR BRANCH OF WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE, the Damariscotta-based store that caters to full-figured women. Yes, it’s thrilling to see stores like Dress Barn and C.J. Banks, which carry plus-size clothing in colors other than black. However, most of the letters I receive are from women who still can’t find anything to wear. Plus-size women are the majority, Santa. PLEASE give them more options.

PETITE SOPHISTICATE. There are lots of petite women out there, too, Santa. And they’re tired of having to pay extra to have their jackets tailored and their pants hemmed.

THE CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP. As previously mentioned, Bangor loves a bargain. The Christmas Tree Shop delivers. Seems like a win-win, yes?

AN INDEPENDENT COOKWARE STORE owned and operated by people who know the difference between a cleaver and a paring knife. Ellsworth has Rooster Brother. Belfast has The Good Table. Can’t Bangor have a wonderful kitchen store, too?

TRADER JOE’S. The pickles. The salsa. The delight! If you can’t do Bangor, I’ll settle for Portland. That still would be better – not to mention much closer – than Peabody, Mass.

A PLACE TO BUY HIGH-END JEANS. Jeans are about the only thing that tempt me to pay full price. Let me indulge!

A PEA IN THE POD OR A MIMI MATERNITY. Many of my friends are either pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant. Let them show off their bumps in style.

A STORE THAT ACKNOWLEDGES THAT PLUS-SIZE WOMEN GET PREGNANT, TOO. As one reader wrote, “Every pregnant woman goes through the stage where strangers wonder ‘Is she pregnant, or just putting on some winter insulation?’ Bigger women like myself can suffer with that for the entire pregnancy without the help of maternity clothes. This is a time when we can finally be proud of our bellies and stop hiding them.” And yet, she has to order her maternity clothes online. Where’s the justice?

A BIG LOTS. Not for me, but for all the readers who have written in, asking if we’re ever going to get one. It’s like a cross between Marden’s and T.J. Maxx, and I’m not sure how you can go wrong with that.

H&M. Why should people who live in large cities get all the inexpensive yet stylish clothes? My girlfriends and I love H&M. Now we want H&M to show us the love, too.