Madonna caused a stir recently. But that’s nothing new. It’s kind of her thing.

Madonna wakes up in the morning, has a cup of coffee, the caffeine goes to her head, and she says, “Well, I think I’ll cause a stir today.” Actually, I don’t think she drinks coffee, but anyway.

This most recent stir is the result of a deal with NBC to broadcast one of her concerts. What she’s been doing at her concerts lately is attaching herself to a cross. You know, like the kind Jesus was attached to a couple thousand years ago. Except, um, shinier.

You see, the cross Jesus was attached to was made out of wood. They probably didn’t even have the decency to sand it down. That way, Jesus would get splinters and he would suffer just a little bit more. It’s the details that really set a form of execution apart.

The cross Madonna has been attaching herself to is made out of mirrors. Imagine “The Passion of the Christ” set at a discotheque and you pretty much have it. Minus all the blood. Jesus bled a lot because they nailed him to the cross and drove a spear into his side and so on. Madonna doesn’t bleed because she just stands on a platform in front of the cross and puts her hands through a couple of loops. So, Madonna’s cross is really nothing like Jesus’ cross at all, except for the shape.

Conservative religious groups wrote in to NBC protesting the event, called for boycotts, insinuated that they were being persecuted against yet again. They insisted Madonna’s use of Christian imagery is offensive and a mockery of their faith. They stopped short of suggesting she be burned at the stake. Though who could blame them if they did suggest it?

Madonna sees things differently. “I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive today he would be doing the same thing,” she said. Well, clearly. If Jesus were alive today, he would most definitely be performing concerts on NBC in which he attaches himself to a glittering cross and writhes around on the floor in a sexually suggestive manner while lip-synching vapid lyrics to bad pop music. If Madonna is right and this is how Jesus behaves when he descends from the clouds, Armageddon is going to be far more hilarious than anybody realizes and NBC is going to get a hell of a ratings boost.

But I don’t think even Madonna really believes that. And I don’t much care to analyze what Madonna’s grand artistic message might be. Is she promoting world peace? Could she be commenting on humanity’s own inner divinity? Could she be suggesting that mock crucifixion is a great way to lose weight, like yoga, only more Western?

Eh, probably not. She probably just thinks it’s a good way to cause a stir.

It’s hardly the first time she’s used random religious imagery for the same effect. Remember all those burning crosses and the stigmata in the “Like a Prayer” video? Actually, in all fairness, that was a pretty cool video. But people got upset about it, and Pepsi had to pull a bunch of commercials.

In the end, the offended folks won this new battle, too. NBC aired the concert but cut around the mock crucifixion. At least that’s what I hear. I didn’t actually watch the show. I have no interest in bad pop music.

What I am interested in, though, is why people allow themselves to get so riled up over something so unimportant. What interest is it to conservative Christians what Madonna does in her concerts? It’s not as though any of them had any more intention of watching the special than I did. And yet, there they were, with their knickers in a bunch, crying heresy.

The reason they care, I guess, is that they view the image of the cross as sacred. To be sure, the cross is the most important religious image in the Western world. It represents death and rebirth. In some other religions, the idols of the gods themselves can represent those qualities. In Christianity, idols are spurned, so symbols, like the cross, take their place.

These symbols have become so important that it seems like they have developed an air of the divine about them. So, when someone like Madonna comes along and seems to use the most important symbol flippantly, it naturally upsets people who see it as an extension of God.

But, really, a cross is just a shape. There are two letters in the English alphabet that form a cross. Telephone poles line the streets. Crosses mark the spot on treasure maps in old pirate books. Are all these uses heretical?

What the cross means to an individual person is private, and if it’s sacred to him or her, then it’s sacred. Nothing Madonna does with it should make the slightest bit of difference. If God’s really that offended, let him strike her down. But he’s let people do far worse things with the shape, so she’s probably safe.

And, just for the record, Jesus wasn’t the only person in history to be crucified. It was one of the Roman Empire’s most popular forms of execution. Just watch “Spartacus.”

The immense suffering involved in crucifixion certainly makes for a dramatic story and really nails home Christ’s sacrifice. But being affixed to a telephone pole wasn’t the sacrifice. Dying was. Jesus could have died of a heart attack. It would have meant the same thing. But the story wouldn’t be as snappy. And people wouldn’t have that nifty symbol to get worked up about. And how would Madonna cause all her stirs? By faking heart attacks?

Justin Fowler is a student at University College of Bangor. He may be reached via justin.fowler@verizon.net. Voices is a weekly commentary by Maine people who explore issues affecting spirituality and religious life.