“Grandparents raising grandchildren feel everything from, ‘I wanted to be Granny and spoil her, but I can’t do that now’ to ‘I’m relieved that the child is safe and in a healthy place,'” said Barbara Kates, director of Maine Kids-Kin, a program of Families and Children Together.

When children go to live with relatives other than their parents, it is usually because of some hardship in the family. Substance abuse, a death or just an inability to care properly for a child can cause mom and dad to bow out while the grandparents – or in some cases, aunts and uncles – step in and take on the parents’ role.

There are challenges, however, for both the child and the new caregiver. Children who have come from disrupted families may have experienced emotional wounds and now have special needs. The grandparent, in turn, is now unexpectedly parenting again.

“We are very excited about our new documentary, ‘Maine Grandfamilies,’ which profiles five of Maine’s grandfamilies and highlights the challenges that they face, as well as their strength, commitment and dedication to the children that they’re raising,” Kates said.

The film “Maine Grandfamilies” will be shown at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 10, at the Bangor Public Library. There is no charge and the public is welcome.

It is hoped that the video will raise awareness of grandfamilies and inspire people in that situation.

“We have seen huge changes in kids when they start living with the grandparents,” said Kates. “We’ve seen children struggling, and then see them settled down once in stable home. This is not to say that it is always smooth sailing. But we’re here to help.”

Maine Kids-Kin offers grandparents, or others, help getting services for the children and family, training on how to handle the specific needs of children who have experienced family disruption, group meetings with other individuals in the same situation and information for legal, educational and financial decisions.

Eastern Agency on Aging is also there to help.

“EAA works with Maine Kids-Kin to ensure that grandparents have access to all resources available to help them succeed in the raising of their grandchild,” said Val Sauda, director of outreach at Eastern Agency on Aging. “If a grandparent who is 60 or older and caring for a grandchild needs services, which could include legal advice or information on financial assistance, the individual is referred to EAA.”

On the other hand, if EAA has a client who needs services regarding the grandchild, a referral is made to Maine Kids-Kin, she added.

“Basically, Eastern Agency attends to the needs of the senior who may have health or financial concerns or other fears while we at Maine Kids-Kin focus on the caregiving of the child,” Kates said. “Working together is in the best interest of everyone involved.”

Once a child goes to live with grandparents, family and other relationships often change, she added. The grandparents are plucked from the traditional grandparent role and thrust into a disciplinarian role, while the child’s parents may become more like siblings to their own children. The grandparents also may face social isolation because their friends are not eager to spend time with children.

“Our main goal is to support the village that it takes to raise a child,” Kates said. “We get the grandparents connected to services and support them. People are so happy when they find out that they are not alone, because often they don’t know anyone else in that situation. We reduce the isolation.”

For more information on Maine Kids-Kin, call 941-2347 or log on www.mainekids-kin.org.

“I tell folks that we are a great first stop with any question related to raising a relative’s child,” said Kates.

Carol Higgins is director of communications at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA, call 941-2865, toll-free (800) 432-7812, e-mail info@eaaa.org or visit www.eaaa.org. TTY 992-0150.