Coffee, laughs fuel retired UMM professors

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MACHIAS – The four men – most graying, at least one balding – sit every Wednesday morning in the corner booth at the Bluebird Ranch Restaurant in Machias with a window on the world. A mug of coffee in hand, a muffin on their plate, they talk of presidents and kings, of war and peace, of politics and football.

They are The Policy Board, a group of retired University of Maine at Machias professors, who have been meeting weekly for breakfast for the past 30 years.

Solving world problems? It’s a snap for these men.

Suggesting answers to world peace? Easy to do before the coffee has even been poured.

Determining which college football team is best? Well … that’s a different story.

Here’s the membership roster: Robert Sloan, 76, who taught history; Ralph Jans, 83, political science; Jerry Storm, 79, education and psychology; and Milton Fuller, 81, physics and mathematics.

Their gatherings are respectfully rowdy – lots of easy banter with frequent, playful insults. Every Wednesday they discuss the world’s events, gossip, and news from the paper.

“What paper?” quipped Sloan.

A couple of the men see each other at church and Storm and Fuller play bridge weekly, but usually the only time they spend much time together is at the Policy Board meetings.

“I can only stand you guys once a week,” said Sloan.

When asked if they truly argue, Sloan said “Of course,” but Fuller quickly added “Gently.”

“We have to be really careful what we say,” Jans said. “We were quite spirited one morning and the man in the booth next to us leaned over and said ‘You guys say some very interesting things.'”

This Wednesday’s topic was President Bush’s speech on Iraq and the news reports of what it would contain.

The men quickly admit they are moderates, lifelong Democrats in a mostly Republican county, but that political discussions are not a love fest. Discussions are deep, intellectual and serious, except when they are shallow and silly.

“I once ran for selectman,” Storm started to say.

“You were even elected,” cuts Jans.

“You see,” Storm added, “we are limited by our memories.”

The four men laughed and raised their coffee cups.

The sun poured into the booth and the stories began to fly.

“I once coached a hockey club at UMM,” recalled Sloan. There was both a girls and boys team and they had to share equipment. At one contest, the girls played, stripped off their uniforms in the locker room and they were passed over to the boys to put on. An opponent skated by Coach Sloan during warm-ups and commented “Sloan, your team sure smells good.”

More laughter. More coffee.

The conversation shifted to the Machias comprehensive plan, the war in Iraq, and Gov. John Baldacci’s plan to reduce the number of school superintendents.

“It’s an old argument,” said Jans. “That there’s too much administration. It’s always about local control.”

A retired nurse stopped by the booth and regaled the men with a little joke.

More laughter. A little more coffee.

Stories about their early teaching days began making the rounds, with Storm’s story about standing up in front of the class with a split seam in his pants taking the prize.

Again the laughter.

“We’ve invited other people, including women,” Jans said. “But they don’t show up.”

The conversation then turned to how the club was formed. The late George Thurston listed the Policy Club on his schedule card at UMM decades ago. The then-president showed up in Thurston’s office and demanded to know about this club, that he hadn’t sanctioned.

“Until last year, there were six of us,” said Jans. “We lost Fred Reynolds, who was president of the university for 10 years, and George Thurston, who we still call the chairman.”

This time there was no laughter.

“Who’s next?” Jans pipes up.

“I volunteer,” said Fuller, “but not yet.”