DVD Corner

“Clerks II: HD DVD”: A sharp, smart return to raunchy form that picks up 12 years after its infamous predecessor became an underground hit. Raunch only works if there is an undercurrent of substance to lift the bottom feeding, which “Clerks II” does well. It’s a movie that has no problem plunging into the messy depths of bestiality while also, somehow, generating a groundswell of affection for the characters understandably dumbstruck by it. Features the return of Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes and director Kevin Smith. Rosario Dawson is winning in a romantic subplot. Rated R. Grade: B+

“The Covenant: DVD and Blu-ray”: Abercrombie and witch – but with a hitch. This sorry movie about a war between brooding teen warlocks takes the “super” out of the supernatural. Caleb (Steven Strait), Tyler (Chace Crawford), Reid (Toby Hemingway) and Pogue (Taylor Kitsch) – yes, Pogue – are the Sons of Ipswich, who must rise up against Chase (Sebastian Stan), a fellow warlock with a supermodel’s wardrobe and an equally deadly agenda. Much bared chests, ripped abs and melodrama ensue. Laced with an irritating, heavy metal soundtrack that resists spells – just try to make it disappear. Rated PG-13. Grade: D

“Employee of the Month: DVD and Blu-ray”: Bronze star. The movie isn’t a bust – it’s likable enough. But big laughs? You won’t find them on Aisle 11 – or any of the film’s other aisles, for that matter. By virtue of its title alone, shouldn’t “Employee” be something special, perhaps a cut above your everyday comedy? Shouldn’t the jokes make that extra effort, as well as the cast? Is it unreasonable to come to it seeking fresh ideas – maybe even just a few? Apparently. With Dane Cook as a bright yet unmotivated box, uh, boy (he crested 30 some time ago), Dax Shepard as his arch nemesis, and Jessica Simpson as their big-eared love interest, what ensues is porridge, though at least it isn’t served cold. Warming the film are faint echoes of Mike Judge’s “Office Space,” which helps. Rated PG-13. Grade: C

“The Gridiron Gang: DVD and Blu-ray”: A football-prison movie, of sorts (it takes place at a juvenile detention facility), that feels like a mix between “The Longest Yard” and “The Bad News Bears.” Based on a true story, the film uses that old cliche – sports as a vehicle for redemption – and does nothing new with it. On the flip side, it also doesn’t teabag audiences with the sort of overbearing sentiment recently on display in “We Are Marshall.” Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is Sean Porter, the probation officer-cum-coach determined to get his charges back on track. Who wants to bet whether he does? Johnson is a major reason behind the film’s modest success, with his charm apparently able to assail even the most canned, predictable sort of writing. Rated PG-13. Grade: C+

“Lucky Number Slevin: HD DVD”: More than any other movie since “Casino,” here is a film in which the wallpaper should have received a credit. Every room and every hallway is papered with such intricate patterns, you don’t have to be the freshest flower in the arrangement to get the director’s drift. In this fun, noir knockoff, patterns increasingly fold in on themselves, with the double-talking characters blending inward until there ceases to be a meaningful center. It’s because of the strength of the acting, which is excellent, and the peculiar situations that the movie is as entertaining as it is. Stars Josh Hartnett, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis, Stanley Tucci, Danny Aiello and the indefatigable Lucy Liu, who is terrific. Rated R. Grade: B

“The Mummy Returns: HD DVD”: A cinematic pinata written in binary code. The movie picks up the action eight years after 1999’s “The Mummy” left off. It follows Rick (Brendan Fraser), his Egyptologist wife, Evelyn (Rachel Weisz), and their young son, Alex (Freddie Boath), in a story that’s so painstakingly manufactured to give audiences more of the same, it essentially is the same. The action swirls around control of an ancient bracelet that will allow the newly resurrected Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo), working alongside his asp-kissing lover, Anck-Su-Namun (Patricia Velasquez), to do a whole host of evil things, none of which bear mentioning here. The film has its moments and Fraser and Weisz do their best to work with the material, but since that material has been given only passing consideration in favor of what really matters here – explosive, high-tech hokum – it’s a battle they never win. Rated PG-13. Grade: D

“Poseidon: HD DVD”: Pure popcorn bombast, with its cast (Josh Lucas, Emmy Rossum, Kurt Russell) rolled in so much ham and cheese, their robust performances prove an unexpectedly enjoyable snack. The film doesn’t rise to the level of the 1972 original (it’s impossible to top the sight of Shelley Winters – panties showing, legs kicking, weight on the rise – skimming through a watery deep), and it doesn’t trump the best movies made by disaster king Irwin Allen. Still, it is lean and it is tight, with director Wolfgang Petersen offering audiences a no-nonsense version that’s as heavy on all the special effects a $160 million budget can buy. Rated PG-13. Grade: B

“Scooby-Doo: HD DVD”: Don’t. Filled with so much bad gas, this “Doo” should have been buried in the backyard. Fans of the Saturday-morning cartoon will get the few in-jokes – and Scooby sometimes is fun to watch – but the film rarely is as animated as Scooby himself. With Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred, Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphne, Linda Cardellini as Velma and Matthew Lillard as Shaggy, the problem is that the movie can’t decide whether it’s a parody or an homage – or whether it’s for children or adults. Rated PG. Grade: C-.