Within minutes of reading this column, you will be making some major decisions. What will next receive your attention? Will you snack before your next meal? Will you smile at the next person you meet? How will you handle your next disappointment?
If you think that these are only minor decisions, think again. Because there really is no such thing as a minor decision. All decisions are significant because every decision that you make and every action that you take forms the mold by which your future character is being shaped.
One miserably hot and humid day last July, the doorbell rang. A lady stood there, offering me a box of freshly picked raspberries. We visited long enough for me to discover that this was her 50th wedding anniversary. But she would not be celebrating today. Her husband had died two years earlier. She missed him terribly. Yet, instead of sitting home in a pool of self-pity, here she was – on this date – doing a kindness for me.
I quickly thought about another lady whom I had known. When her husband died, she became introspective and morose. She never again even allowed herself to enjoy the sound of music.
What made the difference in these two women? What makes the big difference in others? Why are some folks disciplined and others irresponsible? Why do some keep their homes clean while others live in filth? Why are some people positive and others chronically pessimistic? Why are some givers and others takers? Why do some find fault and others seek solutions?
I’ll tell you why, and it’s not just environment and heredity. Somewhere along the way, in an almost unnoticed moment, one person chose to do the right thing; the other acted foolishly. Then, in tiny little increments, the good move was reinforced and the error compounded. None of it seemed like a big deal at the time. But slowly, surely, habits were formed and … two paths diverged.
Former U.S. Senate Chaplain Richard C. Halverson once related:
“You’re going to meet an old man someday! Down the road – 10, 20, 30 years – he’ll be waiting there for you. You’ll be catching up with him.
“What kind of an old man are you going to meet? He may be a seasoned, soft, gracious fellow – a gentleman that has grown old gracefully, surrounded by hosts of friends. Or he may be a bitter, disillusioned, dried-up, cynical old buzzard without a good word for anybody – soured, friendless and alone.
“That old man will be you. He’ll be the composite of everything you do, say, think – today and tomorrow. His mind will be set in a mold you have made by your attitudes. His heart will be turning out what you’ve been putting in. Every little thought, every deed, goes into this old man.
“Every day in every way you are becoming more and more like yourself. Amazing but true! You’re getting to look more like yourself, think more like yourself, and talk more like yourself. You’re becoming yourself more and more.
“Live only in terms of what you’re getting out of life, and the old man gets smaller, drier, harder, crabbier and more self-centered. Open your life to others, think in terms of what you can give, and the old man grows larger, softer, kindlier, and greater.”
You’ve heard of the snowball effect. Shape just a handful. Then, little by little, time goes by and the tiny grows huge.
No one ever becomes a drunkard in a day. All bank robbers start out as petty thieves. Before someone ever commits adultery, critical ground has already been yielded. There has been a wink, a look, a tease, a touch, a pattern of compromise, the willingness to walk too close to the edge.
The Bible says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23), “For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7), and “Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established” (Proverbs 4:26).
Samuel Johnson once said: “The chains of habit are often too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” So never underestimate the small stuff. And make no mistake about it – what you do today will affect who you will be tomorrow.
Charles Reade summed this all up best: “Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
The Rev. Daryl E. Witmer is founder and director of the AIIA Institute, a national apologetics ministry, and associate pastor of the Monson Community Church. He may be reached via AIIA.ChristianAnswers.Net or through the Web site AIIAInstitute@aol.com. Voices is a weekly commentary by Maine people who explore issues affecting spirituality and religious life.
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