Replacing opiates can’t stop addiction

I’m writing to offer a different perspective to the addiction problem that has destroyed the lives of many people in Maine and across the country. Let me start by telling you that I am a recovering drug addict. My addiction caused me to lose a business, a home … the list goes on forever. My drug abuse also sent me to federal prison, a place I never thought I would be.

But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about drug replacement therapy, namely methadone and Suboxone. Being part of the recovery community, I am saddened to see how these two drugs are misused and misprescribed to hundreds of people who are attempting to free themselves from the chains of active addiction.

I have been substance-free for almost four years. The strongest drug I have put in my body in that time is aspirin.

When I first got into recovery, I thought using drugs was my problem. What I have learned is that the urge to use drugs is just a symptom of my problem; the problem itself is addiction. I have learned that addiction is a disease that I must work on every day to keep in remission, just like a lot of other diseases.

Addiction is a disease of attitude, personality and a generally negative outlook. It is rooted in fear, insecurity and low self-esteem. The main components of addiction are obsession and compulsion. Obsession is that fixed idea that takes us back, time and time again, to our particular drug, or a substitute, to try and recapture the feelings of ease and euphoria that we once experienced. Compulsion is being unable to stop ourselves from acting on that idea.

Knowing this, how could I think it would do me any good to put a replacement drug in my body? It would only support the obsession and the compulsion.

In early recovery, what most of us want is to find an easy way out. We don’t want the discomfort and pain that comes with not having our drugs. The pain of withdrawal, mental and physical, is a lot to bear. I would have done anything to get an OxyContin or a bag of heroin just so I wouldn’t have to go through the sickness of withdrawal. Even after not using for 30 days, I thought about getting high a lot.

All I would have needed was for someone in the medical community to tell me that I couldn’t stay off street drugs without the “miracle” of Suboxone or methadone. Looking back at it now, I know that if it had been offered to me, I would have taken it. For me to be able to get high, legally, would have been just the ticket.

I read all the articles in the paper about the opiate addiction problem in our state. I know I don’t have the definitive answer, but I do know that it is not drug replacement. Every single person I know of who has used methadone or Suboxone as an opiate replacement has relapsed.

The other thing I know is that I haven’t relapsed, and there are many others who haven’t and are living drug-free, crime-free lives. The people who make the decisions about chemical abuse treatment in Maine should reconsider the value of opiate substitution.

The writer of this week’s column lives in Brewer.

Please join our weekly conversation about Maine’s substance abuse problem. We welcome stories, comments or questions from all perspectives. Letters may be mailed to Bangor Daily News, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor 04401. Send e-mail contributions to findingafix@bangordailynews.net. Column editor Meg Haskell may be reached at (207) 990-8291 or mhaskell@bangordailynews.net.