Being lucky in love is all in the timing

Over the years I’ve come to realize I have awful luck and timing, particularly with men. I’m like a disaster movie set for release a week after an earthquake or a volcano eruption – I always seem to be in the right place at the wrong time, or something like that.

I’ve dated men during their times of career crisis, when they’re more worried about whether they’ll have a job tomorrow than whether they’re late for dinner. I’ve started to see them just as they’re coming out of a relationship or even during their tenuous relationship moments with other women. I’ve fallen for them just when they’re getting back into dating after long periods away from it.

My timing is off even when it comes to little run-ins. A few weeks ago I drove away from a store I frequent and looked back to see a nice guy I know walking into the building.

Last year I spent a lovely but quiet evening with a then-single friend at the Whig & Courier Pub in Bangor, and as we were leaving to find a more happening spot, a big group of attractive men walked into the restaurant.

In a way, I felt guilty – had my bad timing rubbed off on my friend?

Those incidents and others have me convinced of my awful luck and timing.

Maybe I need charms or one of those magic eight balls, or to look at my horoscope occasionally.

Or, maybe I should be more relaxed and not worry about little things like luck, which is what the experts on MSN.com recommend.

“Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected,” says Dr. Richard Wiseman, author of “The Luck Factor: Changing Your Luck, Changing Your Life” and head of a psychology research department at the University of Hertfordshire in England. “As a result, they miss opportunities because they’re too focused on looking for something else.”

Makes sense to me. My luckiest nights – by which I mean, the nights I had the most fun, felt the most relaxed and maybe even exchanged a phone number or two – have been spontaneous, when friends called at the last minute or plans changed suddenly.

So how can I get luckier? Wiseman found that lucky people tend to listen to their gut feelings, which to me is a sign to trust my instincts more. They also shake up their daily routine, according to Theresa Hoiles, co-author of “Love, Luck, And Lore: A Guide To Superstitions, Prayers, Spells, and Taking Chances in Pursuit of Love,” which could be as simple as taking a different route to work or food shopping at different hours from your norm.

Wiseman also suggests that lucky people expect good fortune and use visualization to “persist in the face of failure.”

I’m not sure visualization is for me, but expecting something good to happen sure sounds a lot better than expecting something bad to happen.

I’d been thinking a lot lately about timing and luck when one morning this week I thought things couldn’t have been timed any worse. I had left my house in plenty of time for my destination but slow drivers, red lights and a Dunkin’ Donuts delivery truck backing into the road made for a lot of traffic.

I pulled into a parking lot in front of where I needed to be when I noticed a man I know sitting in his car. He saw me too, and drove over to say hi. We were talking when he mentioned there was a man writing parking tickets nearby. My car wasn’t, ahem, legally parked, so thanks to this man I not only avoided a ticket, but he also followed me to a space farther away and gave me a ride back to where I needed to be.

Timing! Luck! Could it be? Was it finally mine?

Well, maybe not all the time. Later that day I hit every red light possible on my way home, but it turns out I’m in good company. As Wiseman says, even lucky people have their share of rotten luck sometimes.