According to mediator Dennis Ross in his 2004 book “The Missing Peace” (N.Y.: Farrar, Straus & Giroux), one reason why there have been “missed opportunities” for peace in the Middle East is either the Israeli Jews or the Palestinians are out of sync when it comes to negotiations. Most notably in the Clinton-Barak-Arafat brokered deal in 2000, one side or the other appeared incapable of signing on the dotted line. Without compromise, peace deals flounder and then die.

The reaction to botched hopes on both sides has upped the ante of Palestinian rage, hopelessness and helplessness. Just as anticipated, the result is the second uprising, known as the Intifadat al-Aqsa, in September 2000. More than 3,000 Palestinians and 1,000 Israeli Jews have died to date, with thousands wounded. Since its inception, the Palestinian economic, social and political infrastructures have all but disintegrated with a high rate of unemployment, poverty and malnutrition in the West Bank and Gaza. The Israeli economy has been similarly weakened. Suicide bombings have brought about continuous border closures, curfews, Kasam rocket shelling, and the pouring of billions of aid dollars from the U.S. to build a fence ostensibly for security reasons. In fact, the fence has redefined the borders without Palestinian acquiescence, resulting in the erosion of yet more land considered sacred to the Arab Palestinians. Finally, the result is the political ascendancy in the Gaza Strip of the terrorist organization Hamas.

Before the proposed Clinton Accords, the 1993 Oslo Accords also have not heralded peace, sovereignty, or freedom of movement for the Palestinians. In fact, Israeli control over entrance into and out of Gaza and the West Bank is as tight and effective as ever, leaving both sides in a no-win situation. The status quo of no peace amid controlled violence for Israeli Jews, and no Palestinian state with concomitant independence, autonomy or sovereignty for Palestinians, remains in a gridlock.

The latest attempt to obtain peace in the Middle East was on April 30, 2003, when the U.S., Russia, the U.N. and the EU attempted to put together “The Road Map for Peace,” a plan reflecting Bush’s vision based on two states, Israel and Palestine. It appears to be a road map only for those who have penned it.

Given the 59 years of conflict between successive Israeli governments and leaders of the Palestinian people who have been unable – or unwilling – to sign on for a viable and lasting peace in the region, perhaps it is time for the Israeli people and the Palestinian people to orchestrate peace by reaching out to each other in understanding, compassion and humanity like the Israeli Palestinian Bereaved Families for Peace. This organization was established by the shared grief on both sides of the divide who support one another while at the same time seeking peace and the end of bloodshed, war and violence. A former Bangor resident, the Rev. Thomas J. Fitzpatrick, who is now the Jerusalem director of the Pontifical Biblical Institute, has been working with the bereaved families program in Israel. Fitzpatrick believes strongly in the Israeli-Palestinian grass-roots organization which has traveled to Europe and the U.S. with its message of reconciliation. According to Fitzpatrick, “If everybody sought reconciliation, this program would have been a significant catalyst for peace in the Middle East. Even though there is frustration about the failure of peace, to speak out as these bereaved family members do is very important for the meaning of their lives and the lives of all who support them.”

Fitzpatrick has spent the last 20 years in the Middle East. The bereaved families group has affected the lives of Palestinians and Israeli Jews and is greatly admired by both sides. In fact, Fitzpatrick has found “working with these people the most authentic public expression I could associate myself with. I have no delusions that peace will come soon, but it is a consolation to stand with people who out of great pain and grief are seeking reconciliation through grief.” Those accompanying Fitzpatrick are Nella Magen Cossouto, an Israeli who lost her husband, and Ali Abu Awwad, a Palestinian who lost his brother.

The Israeli Palestinian Bereaved Families for Peace will be in Bangor today at the Bangor Theological Seminary Commons, moderated at 7 p.m. by Fitzpatrick, who is a former pastor at St. John’s Catholic Church in Bangor. It is his profound belief that this group will bring a message of hope to its audiences in Maine, Boston and elsewhere. Until people learn there is only one universal language of love that will bring long-lasting peace to the Middle East, the language of violence, bloodshed and destroyed lives will continue ad infinitum in Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza.

Barbara A. Goldscheider of Bangor is a former Jerusalem resident and the author of “Al-Naqba (The Catastrophe): The Palestinian-Israeli Conflict” (Frog, Ltd. 2005).