I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I’m currently obsessed with Fergie. Last week it was Justin Timberlake. Who knows? I might download some Pussycat Dolls for the iPod before the month is over. Or not.

But back to Fergie: Anyone who calls herself “The Dutchess” is OK by me. In fact, I might start calling myself “The Countess.” That way, I, too, can be “poppin’ champagne, livin’ my life in the fast lane.” Unfortunately, I have Cristal wishes on a Natty Light budget.

Last week, though, the fast lane took me to a place where I could feel G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S on the C-H-E-A-P. ShopMom, ShopGirl Jr. and I piled into my limousine (OK, it’s a Honda), popped Diet Pepsi and hit the highway for a girls’ day of unparalleled shopping goodness in the Bay State.

Our first-class venue? Wrentham Village Premium Outlets in Massachusetts. Notice the “premium” here, kids. If you’re going to Boston anytime soon, this half-hour detour is well worth the trip. Just be sure to allow yourself enough time (six hours, minimum) and – I can’t stress this enough – wear comfortable shoes. Stilettos don’t count.

With 170 outlet stores in one huge outdoor mall, Wrentham can be a little overwhelming. You can’t adequately hit every store in an afternoon. Ever the organized one, ShopMom suggested we do a walk-through first to plan our attack. If she hadn’t, I’d probably still be searching for the invisible fitting room at the Barneys New York outlet. As it is, I completely missed Brooks Brothers.

The “village” is shaped like a huge hand, with shops on the palm and either side of each finger. And there’s something for every style of shopper – from Hot Topic to Hugo Boss, Carter’s to Chico’s.

We started on the pinky (or the thumb – whatever) at Polo Ralph Lauren Factory Store. For the record, I’m underwhelmed by the Freeport version of this outlet, so imagine my surprise to find something other than overpriced oxfords. Cashmere polo shirts, Ralph Lauren blue label skirts and a pink silk chiffon evening gown (for $50!) caught my eye, and ShopMom got a great pair of pants for $19.99.

Next, we popped into BCBG Max Azria, which is officially my new favorite label. I wanted everything in there – especially the posh dresses. Unfortunately, everything in my price range was just a little bit off. Oh, well. Junior wanted to visit BeBe – she affectionately calls it “beeb” – which was a hotbed of bedazzled velour sweat suits. Oh, wait, so was the Juicy Couture outlet.

DKNY Jeans was chock-full of this season’s merchandise at significantly reduced prices, while Guess had adorable tops and work-worthy capris – all for a song.

Here’s the beautiful thing about Wrentham – it’s a throwback to kinder, simpler times, when outlets sold first-quality merchandise from the previous season at slashed prices. I’m tired of brands such as Coach and Gap manufacturing “outlet only” lines. If I wanted cheap Gap, I’d go to Old Navy.

At Wrentham, I got cheap Gap at Gap – two adorable T-shirts and a pair of chinos for $41. And the best thing? Massachusetts doesn’t have a sales tax on clothing. Junior and I had a blast picking out sassy pants and a linen dress for ShopMom at Liz Claiborne, which also offers Sigrid Olsen. We were so pleased with ourselves that we picked up some accessories to celebrate (Liz had a $9.99 wallet that matches my Angela Adams bag perfectly. Kismet.)

I had a True Religious experience in Off 5th – the Saks Fifth Avenue outlet. This place is a label snob’s heaven. If you want designer denim from True Religion, 7 for All Mankind, Citizens of Humanity or AG, this is the place to be. You’ll still pay $100 a pair, but that beats the $200 you would’ve paid elsewhere.

Across the walkway is another designer mecca, Barneys New York outlet. I had no idea such a thing existed, and after I stopped hyperventilating, I promptly got to work trying on Joe’s Jeans (a steal at $70) and drooling over the Manolos. Even at the outlet, I can’t afford them, but a girl can dream of “shopping for expensive things” a la Fergie.

A white leather handbag was on my wish list, but a stop at Coach proved disappointing. Sure, there were cute bags, and some of them were inexpensive, but I can’t get past the Coach Factory tag. It’s not a matter of label snobbery. It’s just that I’d rather spend a little more to get a first-quality bag at Macy’s in South Portland.

I hit pay dirt at the Ann Taylor Factory Store. Rack upon rack of perfectly fitting, well-made clothing at discount-store prices? Brilliant. The prices at Banana Republic also were great, but the only thing that fit was a surprisingly sexy khaki skirt. For $17.99, of course I bought it.

ShopMom loved the selection at Jones New York, but left empty-handed. Ditto for Chico’s and J.Jill. But she did stock up on blouses at J.Crew. We all went wild at the Williams-Sonoma outlet (which doubles as a Pottery Barn outlet – fab!). You know you’re in luck when even the cookbooks are on sale. Mom stocked up on cutting boards, while I grabbed a cookbook and a salad spinner. Glassware, All-Clad cookware and gourmet condiments are among the highlights here.

The nearby Calphalon outlet is a cook’s haven. This is the destination for top-quality pots and pans at rock-bottom prices. I stocked up on heavy stainless spatulas – a steal at two for $9.99. When it comes to my kitchen, I really am a label snob. Must be my delusions of glamour.

By this point, after six hours of shopping, the three of us were tired, ravenous and thoroughly satisfied, with the exception of Junior, who only bought a purse. We filled the limo (I mean, Honda) with shopping bags, and I ended up with three new outfits, a salad spinner, kitchen utensils, a wallet and a cookbook for a little over $100. I felt kind of flossy. Whatever that means.

There’s a word for shopping like this: Frugalicious.

For information, directions or nearby lodging options, visit www.premiumoutlets.com/wrentham.

ShopNotes

If you’re in the market for a new job, you may be in the market for new clothes. I’ll speak on office-appropriate attire as part of the Spring Career and Job Fair next Friday, May 4, at the Spectacular Event Center in Bangor. All workshops are free, including a resume workshop and human-resources panel.

For information or to register, call 990-8101.

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor 04402-1329, or by fax to 941-9476. For exclusive online shopping tips, visit ShopGirl’s Blog at http://community.bangordailynews.com/blog/4.