Fiscal conservatives in Maine have long envied the practices and policies of our neighbor New Hampshire. With no income or sales tax, New Hampshire looks darn appealing.

I’m no different; what would New Hampshire’s tax policies do for Maine? Heck, what would the Concord government do for Maine in general? Well, this week, so much great stuff happened across our border that I can recommend only one thing: annexation.

I started paying closer attention when the New Hampshire legislature (the third-largest legislative body in the English-speaking world, mind you) approved civil unions. Shortly thereafter, Gov. Lynch, pledging to sign the bill, stated, “This legislation is a matter of conscience, fairness and of preventing discrimination. It is in keeping with New Hampshire’s proud tradition of preventing discrimination.”

As you may know Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York and Ohio allowed black men to vote 40 years before the Civil War, so Maine should share that proud tradition of preventing discrimination.

While writing Gov. Lynch to congratulate him for his courageous leadership, I learned that he did something even more startling. Something so remarkable, I think we all need to write to him.

(I know you’re too busy for this, so I’ll write it – you just tear it out and mail it to him).

Dear Governor Lynch,

Greetings from one of your sixteen new counties! Congratulations on a job well done this week! You probably wonder who I am, but honestly you would recognize most Mainers if you met them on the street. After all, we frequent your brilliant revenue-generating liquor stores while we transport our kids to their new lives and jobs “away.”

I hear that you took time out of your busy schedule this week to testify before the state Senate. Wow, that’s impressive. And you spoke in support of HB 428, which would prohibit the combustion of construction and demolition debris, or CDD, forever.

Now governor, I expect that you’ll get quite a few letters from the Bradley area asking to be annexed to New Hampshire, but really, we want you to take all of Maine.

Although Bradley has had it rough.

See, they had what our current government (I call it our interim government) refers to as “soot events.” Poor Bradley: seems the Maine DEP said the soot from the local CDD incinerator contained lead. Folks are afraid to let their kids play outside and I guess a dog or two died. So don’t be surprised if you hear from them and anybody else who figures out that when the wind changes the next soot event will be theirs.

What really makes some folks mad, Governor Lynch, is that no one seems to care that a little lead is too much. Governor, anyone who reads the National Institute for Health reports on lead poisoning knows that lead accumulates in tissues and the bloodstream, especially of young children. Of course there’s no reason for alarm unless folks intend to keep living there and let that stuff build up, day after day, year after year.

So governor, we need you: 9 more boilers across the state are ready to come on line and 12 more can apply.

Don’t worry that the Geneva conventions and the United Nations charters frown on annexation. Firstly, our current federal government doesn’t respect either of those two constructs AND both of them made an exception in the case of freedom-loving, entrepreneurial West Germany annexing much maligned and governmentally abused East Germany. Even a blind man can see the similarities here!

Governor, I really want you to think about it: this week you said, “Construction and demolition debris contains many toxic substances including mercury, lead, and arsenic. Last year, we worked to craft legislation aimed at reducing mercury emissions from power plants in New Hampshire, which I was pleased to sign into law. I strongly believe that it makes no sense to reduce mercury pollution from one source, only to turn around and leave the window open for new mercury polluters in New Hampshire.”

Please governor if you won’t annex us for our sake than do it for your own. Just outside your open window sits New England’s only incinerator of CDD, Maine.

Pat LaMarche, a former Green candidate for governor and for vice president, can be contacted at PatLaMarche@hotmail.com.