“ER: The Complete Seventh Season”: The melodrama escalates to a fever pitch this time out, but then it had to, didn’t it? This is the seventh season of “ER,” and the producers hardly were willing to allow fans to move away from the water cooler quietly. As such, we get 22 episodes of chaos and disorder, with romance and broken hearts hurtling through the doors of Chicago’s Sacred Heart almost as frequently as the injured, the dying and, in this season, even a man in an opossum suit. Grade: B-
“The Fountain” DVD, HD DVD, Blu-ray: High-concept, metaphysical trash that shoots for the heavens – literally – but which likely will leave some wondering whether they walked through the doors of hell. Director Darren Aronofsky writes and directs as if he tossed back a few hallucinogenic mushrooms – and then tossed back a few more. His film is so lofty, confusing and pretentious, it floats free from his grasp into a haze of computer-generated imagery that’s lovely to look at, for sure, but which comes to mean nothing. Features three interweaving story lines fighting for attention – with Hugh Grant and Rachel Weisz caught in the middle – but none are satisfying because none forms a meaningful whole. The film seems to be probing how life blooms within the not-so-absolute process of death, but it’s never made clear in the malaise of undercurrents that sink the show, and only the most curious and patient will care. Rated PG-13. Grade: D
“The George Eliot Collection”: From the BBC, a set of five films for the retro Victorian – or the curious Edwardian – all derived from the works of George Eliot, whose real name was Mary Ann Evans, so you can imagine the complications he/she was able to compose. “Middlemarch,” “Daniel Deronda,” “Adam Bede,” “The Mill and the Floss” and “Silas Marner” all are assembled here and they’re just fine, with most themes reflecting Evans own life as an outsider. The highlight is “Middlemarch,” with the eight-part miniseries “The Mill and the Floss” offering the most insight into Eliot’s life as Evans. Grade: B+
“Half Past Dead 2”: It’s No. 2, all right. The first “Dead” featured revered thespians Steven Seagal, Morris Chestnut, Ja Rule and Kurupt, all of whom apparently created enough interest to inspire this direct-to-DVD sequel. A prison action flick, with all that implies, “Dead 2” ditches Seagal in favor of Bill Goldberg, a mountainous hulk who at least looks the part, as well as giving a more prominent role to Kurupt as Twitch. Together, they not only must rise up against the bloody riots that ensue, but also the insipid script. Guess who loses? Rated R. Grade: D
“Music and Lyrics”: Move beyond the lame title, and you’ll find an unexpectedly good movie, with the inspired casting of Drew Berry and Hugh Grant possessing the necessary chemistry to lift this rote, manufactured story into something appealing. Grant is Alex Fletcher, a former pop star from the ’80s who has a chance for a comeback when young singing sensation Cora Corman (Haley Bennett) enlists him to write her a song – in a matter of days. Enter Berry’s Sophie Fisher, who waters Alex’s plants, and who happens to be gifted lyricist. Trouble is, she’s been burned before. Will she help him write the tune, “Way Back into Love?” It doesn’t take a song to figure it out, which is why this movie’s modest success comes down to the charisma of its stars. Rated PG-13. Grade: B
“The Painted Veil”: From W. Somerset Maugham’s 1925 novel, the movie offers something of a guide book on how to humble and humanize the impossible British socialite, in this case, prim Kitty (Naomi Watts). The story follows Kitty’s husband, British physician Walter Fane (Edward Norton), who learns that Kitty has had a Shanghai affair with a dapper diplomat (Liev Schreiber). Out of spite, Fane takes her to the disease-ridden outskirts of China (cad!), where cholera breeds along with an unexpected growing mutual respect. Stuart Dryburgh’s cinematography is as key to this movie’s success as Ron Nyswaner’s taut script and the fine performances. When she’s not mooning over a doomed ape or being haunted by video tapes, it’s nice to be reminded that Watts can act. As for Norton, there never was a question. Rated PG-13. Grade: B+
“Pan’s Labyrinth”: A violent, enthralling children’s movie made for adults. On one level, Guillermo del Toro’s excellent film is about the wonders of childhood, but on a deeper, more profound level, it’s about the risks inherent in childhood, which can be dire, particularly where fantasy is involved. The marvelous Ivana Baquero is 10-year-old Ofelia, who in 1944 Spain finds herself fatherless in the wake of that country’s civil war and now on a journey to Northern Spain with her pregnant mother Carmen (Ariadna Gil). Carmen is the recent wife of fascist leader Capt. Vidal (Sergi Lopez), a vicious man who instills in Ofelia such fear, she retreats into what at first appears to be the comparative safety of a fairy-tale world. But when it becomes clear to her that her mother is so ill, she might not live through the pregnancy, and that Vidal is murdering those rising up against him, her fairy-tale world takes a turn into darkness, with the faun Pan (Doug Jones) repeatedly offering her choices that threaten her life. Rated R. Grade: A
“That ’70s Show: Season 6”: The kids (Topher Grace, Ashton Kutcher, Laura Prepon, Wilmer Valderamma, Mila Kunis, Danny Masterson) are more restless than ever, as are the writers, who work overtime to brew new complications in the wake of Lisa Robin Kelly’s departure from the series. The highlights – or the lowlights, depending on whether you’re a fan of the series and the era – include Kelso attending the police academy (disastrous) and Eric ditching his own wedding. The show is a simple parody of an era, but it gets by with its dopey bell-bottom flair. Grade: B-
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