Bakery bags, Boston and Blodgett

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Next time you go to the grocery store, take an empty bakery bag up to the register and when the cashier asks you what you have in the bag, say “doughnut holes.” (Wouldn’t a doughnut hole be just plain air?)

Or when you take a gallon of milk up to the register and they ask you if you’d like your milk in a bag, say, “Heck no, wouldn’t it all run out?”

Or stand in the aisle staring at the Scotch tape and say “I can’t find the invisible tape.”

What do these grocery store pranks have to do with the Boston Red Sox and Cindy Blodgett?

Absolutely nothing.

You are a Red Sox fan and you can’t help but grin. The Sox are running away with the American League East title although the season is still young.

But you know enough not to expose all of your pearly whites because if you were alive in 1978, you know enough to be cautiously optimistic at this stage.

This team is much different than the one in 1978, when the Sox blew a 14 1/2-game lead before being done in by Bucky “bleeping” Dent in the playoff game against the Yankees.

There are a couple of things that should prevent the Red Sox from imploding like their 1978 predecessors.

First of all, the five guys in the starting rotation are a combined 27-13. With Curt Schilling, Josh Beckett, and Daisuke Matsuzaka heading up the rotation, it is unlikely that the Sox would go on an extended losing streak since each is capable of being a streak-breaker.

Second, the addition of Julio Lugo to go with second-year Sox center fielder Coco Crisp gives the Sox a two-pronged attack.

Lugo (15 steals in 17 attempts) and Crisp (10 in 10) can manufacture runs with their speed. That is a rare commodity in Boston.

So if the big bats aren’t going deep, they can generate runs with speed.

Remember, it’s 50 games into the season and David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez have just 17 homers.

They are bound to get hot.

J.D. Drew is showing signs of life. He will be pivotal in the five spot in the order, a spot the Sox have struggled with in recent years.

And Lugo is only hitting .230. But he does have 30 RBIs and you’ve got to expect him to go on a tear sooner or later. Same with Crisp (.240).

Kevin Youkilis (.354, 7 homers, 28 RBIs), Dustin Pedroia (.298), and Alex Cora (.319) have been pleasant surprises, as has Mike Lowell (.328-9-39).

The bullpen has been better than expected and there are more arms (i.e., starter Jon Lester) waiting in the wings.

Now on to Cindy Blodgett.

I was skeptical when she was hired.

The most important attribute for a coach at Maine is to be a charismatic recruiter.

Opposing recruiters are bashing Maine for being in a barren wilderness.

As a player, Blodgett was a fiery competitor, but she came off as an introvert.

But, on second thought, this is a smart gamble. She was one of the most, if not the most, influential athletes to ever attend Maine (hockey player Paul Kariya would be right up there, also).

She was not only the catalyst for four NCAA tournament seasons, she put people in the seats. She probably generated at least half a million dollars for the school.

She deserves a chance to revitalize the sagging program. She just may be exactly what the school needs.

Larry Mahoney can be reached at 990-8231, 1-800-310-8600 or by email at lmahoney@bangordailynews.net.