Preparing to take a vacation from reality television

As a child, summer vacation was just that – a vacation from school, homework and, most importantly, from thinking too hard. Now vacation has a totally different meaning and I understand the stressed looks my parents used to get before we took off on an extended family outing.

It takes at least one week to prepare for a trip, making sure that you’re caught up at work, household chores are completed and that everything will run smoothly while you’re away. Then it takes another couple days once you’re on vacation to forget about work and home and realize that things can go on without you for a few days.

Bear with me, we’re getting to the TV stuff.

When you return, there’s always the slump of being in denial that your reprieve from responsibility is over and there usually are piles of work that added up while you were away.

Fortunately, by the time you read this, I’ll have had a week of respite in sunny California. And hopefully I’ll be on a plane headed back home for a few days of lounging in front of the television (also known as procrastinating so I don’t have to mow the lawn) before I return to the office.

In other words, I’m attempting to keep some of my sanity by writing this week’s column well in advance of when it will appear in the paper and below you’ll find an update on new shows coming to television sets near you in the future.

. Crazy Steve-O of “Jackass” and “Wildboyz” is accepting applications for his new show that will attempt to toughen up men – “Dr. Steve-O” style, according to Reality TV World. Applications are available at the USA Network Web site for men looking for an “injection of cool.” Catch the first episode at 11 p.m. Monday, Oct. 1.

. We’ve already answered the question “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” Night after night, the answer has been no. But can Americans remember song lyrics? Find out with FOX’s new “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” hosted by Wayne Brady during the two-night premiere at 9:30 p.m. Wednesday, July 11, and at 8:30 p.m. Thursday, July 12.

. In an effort to one-up FOX, NBC will release its own lyrical reality show earlier than scheduled with a premiere of “The Singing Bee” 9:30 p.m. Tuesday, July 10.

. The Donald also is at it again with a new series in the works titled “Pageant Place,” according to Reality TV World. I expect the new series to debut later this summer, and a recent report from “Daily Variety” explained that the show will follow current Miss Universe Riyo Mori, Miss USA Rachel Smith and Miss Teen USA Katie Blair as they live together in a New York City apartment and represent their different crowns. Hmmm … I smell an attempt to boost the ratings during pageants.