On Harry Potter, state’s debt to hospitals, the news

Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! My 54-year-old friend and her 11-year-old granddaughter both think that the week’s biggest news story is the upcoming publication of the newest and final installment of J.K. Rowling’s fantastically popular book series and its companion soon-to-be-released movie.

That’s really something: a movie and a book making the biggest news splash. But honestly, as long as Paris Hilton didn’t top the headlines any longer, I figured anything would be an improvement over last week.

If you’ve read the books or seen the movies, then you know that this tale of a young boy, a misfit in the world of ordinary humans but a superstar in the world of magic and mayhem, really does tantalize the mind and warm the heart.

Still, I didn’t ask them about their favorite volume in the library, I asked them what the most important news story might be. And I’ve wracked my brain to decipher how this fantasy book’s unveiling scored first place. Then, I realized that it might have something to do with the other news items of the week.

The rising death toll in Iraq, the president avoiding congressional oversight by claiming executive privilege, the state of Maine unable to pay its bill to the hospitals: This stuff isn’t news, its history repeating itself.

So, why not choose Potter?

I thought about calling my friend and political foil Chandler Woodcock to see if he agreed. I thought there might be a chance that he would. After all, I couldn’t be more impressed with the way a man regards his wife and children and grandchildren.

The news of the newest Potter installments might be huge in his household.

And while I would never presume to speak for Chandler, I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t think the hospitals getting stiffed on the bill qualifies as news.

If you haven’t had the chance to wade hip-deep into a large-scale political campaign, you might not know that most politicians and really good spokespeople find two or three salient points and hammer them home every chance they get.

Over the course of our 40 or so forums and debates, 2006 Republican gubernatorial candidate Chandler Woodcock argued frequently – inflicting some pretty serious political damage – that Gov. Baldacci and the Legislature had shortchanged the hospitals and had no plan to pay them, ever.

Every time, and I mean often, the governor would talk about balancing the budget, Chandler would pull back his political bat and knock that hospital debt argument right out of the ball park.

In fact, Chandler’s arguments proved so effective that late in the campaign the governor announced a strategy guaranteeing the repayment of Maine’s hospital debt. Astounding!

Now if the governor was somebody else, like say … Harry Potter, that promise might’ve worked.

See when the governor promised that we’d have something on the order of an $84 million surplus this year – with which he’d pay the hospitals – he did work a little magic: He defused the topic. He just didn’t have enough magic to actually conjure up the money.

Oh, and by the way. I’m not sure that the $84 million figure I just quoted was accurate, but it doesn’t matter. I usually look this stuff up. Why bother? Whether I made it up today or the governor made it up in October, it’s merely a phantom, a figment of a plan.

See, this week, in an announcement that J.K. Rowling herself couldn’t have concocted, the hospitals were informed that the state of Maine just couldn’t pay up. My favorite part of the announcement came when the hospitals learned that Maine hadn’t broken its promise … in fact the promise was still in effect … the state just wasn’t going to fulfill it.

Maybe fantasy stories for sale should be big news.

Cost of the state paying its bills: multimillions of dollars. Cost of making a promise to get your Republican challenger off your back and then never keeping it: priceless.

Pat LaMarche of Yarmouth is the author of “Left Out In America: the state of homelessness in the United States.” She can be contacted at PatLaMarche@hotmail.com.