‘Underdog’ audiences might not sit, stay

In theaters

UNDERDOG, directed by Frederick Du Chau, written by Adam Rifkin, Joe Piscatella and Craig Williams, 80 minutes, rated PG.

Oh, there’s reason to fear – “Underdog” the movie is here.

Frederick Du Chau’s live-action remake of the popular ’60s cartoon is a by-the-numbers disappointment, so much so that one has to wonder upon seeing the movie whether Du Chau and his screenwriters are now considered a dog’s best friend.

It’s questionable.

This fractured, frenetic movie appeals best in that it’s brief. It stays true to its source material in that it finds Underdog speaking in hokey rhymes, which might appeal to the very youngest of children (newborns, for instance), but it falls short of capturing the original’s corny charm, which admittedly was always best served in small doses.

In the movie, a bumbling Beagle named Shoeshine (voice of Jason Lee) falls into the hands of the evil scientist Dr. Simon Barsinister (Peter Dinklage, the best part of the show), who wants to perform mysterious tests on the dog. But when our hero puts up a fight in Barsinister’s lab, the dog accidentally gets zapped with a heady mix of DNA – the sort that transforms Shoeshine into the superpowered canine, Underdog.

Cut to the emotionally wounded Ungers. In the wake of his wife’s death, Dan Unger (Jim Belushi) has lost his job as a cop and increasingly has become alienated from his teenage son, Jack (Alex Neuberger).

In an effort to bring them closer together, Dan adopts Shoeshine, who reveals to Jack that he’s not your everyday, run-of-the-mill pup. Indeed, this dog can fly, talk and burst through walls, which prove just enough to lift Jack’s sullen mood as he and Shoeshine start to bond.

And not just with themselves. For romantic interest, the movie tosses in a cute girl reporter (Taylor Momsen) for Jack and the cuter spaniel, Polly Purebred (Amy Adams), for Shoeshine. Too bad their euphoria is so short-lived.

Barsinister and his bleached henchman, Cad (Patrick Warburton), are on the hunt. They want Underdog back so they can use his powers to take over Capitol City. Since this is a movie that spares no cliches, they naturally will stop at nothing to get what they want.

“Underdog” isn’t an awful movie – at least the animals are winning – but from the gate, there’s no question that its aspirations only were second-rate. Du Chau’s last movie was the equally underwhelming “Zebra Stripes,” in which animals talked and the poop jokes got the biggest laughs. The same is true here. One can only imagine what Du Chau has left to say about either.

Grade: C-

On DVD and Blu-ray

VACANCY, directed by Nimrod Antal, written by Mark L. Smith, 80 minutes, rated R.

Nimrod Antal’s “Vacancy” is first and foremost an homage to other thrillers and, as such, it offers nothing new.

The film is a compendium of familiar scenes and devices – the car that won’t start when it absolutely must; the creepy motel clerk and out-of-the-way motel that recall Hitchcock’s “Psycho”; the killer in the expressionless mask who evokes Michael Myers in “Halloween”; the bickering couple who reconnect just when death seems imminent.

The list of references is endless, though as with any homage that has studied and learned from its genre cliches, “Vacancy” initially employs them to fine effect. By its midpoint, the movie becomes riddled with plot holes, but not before launching a tense, moody start, much of which is heightened thanks to the shadowy hum of Andrzej Sekula’s excellent cinematography.

Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale are David and Amy, an attractive married couple steamrolling toward divorce who seem to exist to promote each other’s miserable state of being. This proves especially true when their car goes on the fritz and they reluctantly decide to take a room at the Pinewood Motel, with the questionable motel clerk, Mason (Frank Whaley), offering them the honeymoon suite at no extra charge.

“It has some perks,” he notes, which go beyond the cockroaches, the dirty sheets and the muddy water bleeding from the pipes. Indeed, this room is hot-wired with hidden video equipment, which is there to capture their murders when Mason and his men come after them.

Initially, the film’s suspense is mounted with finesse. Bored with Amy and their squabbling, David decides to watch one of the videotapes stacked atop the television. Hoping for a little porn, what he finds instead are snuff films, with people being murdered in a room that looks exactly like the room he and Amy are in now. In fact, the couple realizes it is this room, which drives them into action. The rest of the movie is focused on their survival as they try to outwit their potential slayers.

Trouble is, while David and Amy behave as if they’ve never seen this film’s bag of tricks, the same likely won’t be true for audiences, who might watch the show in admiration for the looking-glass it holds up to the past, but who would have been better served if that glass had been shattered with the unexpected.

Grade: C+