I want it fall.

I want it fall.

I want it fall.

And I want it now.

OK, so I’m no Freddy Mercury. And despite my Anglophile ways, I’m certainly no Queen. Princess, maybe. But still, is a little fresh merchandise too much to ask for this time of year?

I get it. Really, I do. Long shorts, in plaid, are rad. So, too, are layered T-shirts. Heck, I’ve even seen a few trapeze jackets out there. But, um, last time I checked it was two weeks until September, and I’m still waiting for autumn’s “new looks” to show up. Besides, I may be the only woman over 25 in Bangor who can get away with wearing Bermudas, novelty Ts and flip-flops to work without getting sent home.

I keep reading all the fashion mags, anticipating the arrival of sophisticated tweeds, wide-leg trousers, large leather handbags and tall, dark and handsome shoes. But, alas, during a recent shopping trip, all I could find were racks upon racks of clearance shorts, loads of polos and a smattering of flats, all of which I’ve stocked up on.

The best offerings I’ve seen come from two places: T.J.s and Gap. Now, Gap has the whole fall thing down pat: I couldn’t resist a long, tiny-cable sweater in plum. So classic. The short-sleeve turtlenecks ($39.50) also caught my eye. They’re just the thing with a pencil skirt (Old Navy, $29.50) and a slim belt.

Once I tore myself away from the racks of designer jeans at T.J.s, I found the cutest floaty dress in shades of plum and chocolate. I plan to wear it now with cuffed jeans and buckle flats. Later, I’ll pair it with knitted brown tights and high boots. It’ll be mod as can be. And for $19.99, it’s a true bargain.

Not necessarily so for the $62 cropped wool trapeze jacket I couldn’t live without at Urban Behavior. I nearly fainted when I realized that I can’t return it, period. But I can justify my purchase this way: it looks like something far more expensive, and it’s as current and sleek as can be.

Old Navy’s hooded fleece coat ($34.50) isn’t exactly sweet, but it does have a Little Red Riding Hood meets Big Bad Wolf vibe that I’m digging this season. I’d pair it with a pair of skinny jeans and very high heels.

And those heels will come from one of two places: Marshalls or Target. Marshalls has to-die-for patent-leather, thick-heeled pumps from Nine West right now. And Target has the schoolgirl look down pat. Plus, Target now boasts a line from Hollywould, which is just sexy.

Equally sexy is a pair of big, tweedy trousers. I LOVE the menswear look, which is rumored to be the thing this fall. I love it even more when it’s toned down with decidedly feminine details: a silky tie-neck blouse (Libertine at Target), a fitted turtleneck (Gap) and a blindingly chunky costume jewelry ring (Charlotte Russe, at the counter).

At Charlotte Russe, I couldn’t tear myself away from the wall of flats. I left with a plaid pair, and I would’ve bought the buckled peep-toes if they fit me. At $13.95, is there any other reason to resist these? No. I’m also digging Target’s patent buckle flats – they look just like the ones at J. Crew. Only they cost $110 less.

Of course, some things are worth a splurge. And I’d count J.Crew’s small “Anya Tote” ($395) among them. Normally, I’d just laugh at something like this. Frankly, if I’m considering that type of cash, I’d like my fancy bag to be emblazoned with Cs or LVs. But this is timeless. A lifetime bag, really. So, too, is the pebbled leather “Tabloid Tote,” which is a respectable $235 if you’re a purse-splurger. Punch it up in an unexpected mustard yellow, or play it safe with black, which might just be the new black. At least that’s what my sources are telling me.

I hope I find out on my own someday. But as another rock ‘n’ roll icon once said, you can’t always get what you want.

If I try sometime, I just might find, I get what I need: Which is a new bag. And a pair of floaty trousers. And a skinny turtleneck. Maybe a cool scarf or a velvet jacket. And at least two more dresses. Oh, and heels that won’t snap. And a half-dozen bargain flats. And …

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