“Doom: HD DVD”: Trash sci-fi that achieves a lean center and final act that’s admirable in the tension it creates. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is Sarge, a tattooed beast leading an elite core of Marines on a rescue mission to Mars, where a mysterious 24th human chromosome is wreaking havoc on what’s left of the planet’s residents. Should one come in contact with it, the results are monstrous. With the film’s genesis steeped in computer code – the movie is based on the popular video game, which started a revolution – “Doom” predictably lacks soul, but it does generate the raw, sketchy rhythm of a B-movie, which gives it its modest gross-out jolts. Rated R. Grade: C+

“I Dream of Jeannie: Complete Fourth Season”: Hardly for the feminist – the lot of it is pure male fantasy – though when it comes to kitsch, it’s tough to beat this ’60s throwback. Jeannie’s evil sister, Jeannie, is back to add dice to the mix, which she does in such episodes as “How to Marry an Astronaut” and “Jeannie Go Around,” each of which find her trying to snag Maj. Nelson (Larry Hagman) for herself. This fourth season continues to underscore the chemistry between Eden and Hagman, which was as hot as Jeannie’s pink pantaloons. As Tony’s leering friend Roger, Bill Daily and his bumbling inappropriateness throw this enduring show further off kilter. A guest appearance by Arte Johnson kicks it to the moon. Grade: B+

“Grey’s Anatomy: Complete Third Season”: Nothing in this weak third season rises to the level of drama that took place over the past year between the cast members off screen, though it should have. Given the show’s title, the focus presumably is on Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo), who is in an intense relationship with surgeon Derek Shepherd (Maine native Patrick Dempsey), and who, like him, must mine the personalities surrounding her – Izzie (Katherine Heigl), Alex (Justin Chambers), Cristina (Sandra Oh) and George (T.R. Knight). But if anything has come through since Isaiah Washington was fired from the show earlier this year, it’s that “Anatomy” really is about Meredith and company. Trouble is, with Izzie in a funk for much of this season after the death of her fiance, the show follows suit, which is a shame since this hospital melodrama once had a spark that lifted it well beyond cliche. Grade: C

“Jarhead: HD DVD”: Takes us back to a past that feels oddly like the present. In the film, we’re in the Middle East, Bush is in office, and we’re fighting a war that few seem to understand. The difference? The Bush in question is the senior Bush, Saddam Hussein is in power, and the war being fought is the Gulf War. Jake Gyllenhaal is Swofford, who is recruited by Sykes (Jamie Foxx) to become a sniper along with Troy (Peter Sarsgaard), his sketchy partner with the unfavorable past, and a group of other men. With no action to be had on the ground in Saudi Arabia, the men find themselves fighting the war unraveling in their heads. The Gulf War was fought mostly by air, and these men are on foot. It’s the mounting frustration that comes with the dawning realization that their time in the desert may have been for nothing that gives “Jarhead” its greatest, ugliest complexity. Rated R. Grade: B

“Supernatural: Complete Second Season”: Delivers what its title promises and then goes a step further – it improves upon the first season. Jared Padalacki and Jensen Ackles return as Sam and Dean Winchester, two brothers working through a traumatic past – their mother was viciously killed by a monster, grisly depicted in the first season. Now, the family business is in hunting down ghosts, particularly the elusive one who killed their mother. The season opens with Sam, Dean and their father, John (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), all recovering from a car accident that’s about to take Dean’s life when John makes a deal with the devil that alters the course of those events, particularly when he unleashes a secret. What ensues is the supernatural at every turn. Urban legends abound, as does a fair measure of brotherly angst. Grade: B

“U-571: HD DVD”: Unlike the submarine thrillers “Das Boot,” “The Hunt for Red October” and “Crimson Tide,” Jonathan Mostow’s “U-571” has no interest in its characters, which proves a nearly fatal mistake. The film features a bunch of cardboard Chippendale dancers lying in wait to take audiences down with performances that are so rote, and dialogue that’s so corny, they effectively torpedo what could have been an engrossing film. In it, a German U-boat carrying the Nazi Enigma machine has been damaged in the mid-Atlantic. With the United States desperate to retrieve the machine so it can crack the Nazi radio codes, Lt. Andrew Tyler (Matthew McConaughey) and his men devise a mission to get it into the hands of the U.S. Navy. Predictably, nothing goes as planned. Mostow does get a fair performance from McConaughey, but Harvey Keitel is wasted, Jon Bon Jovi is reduced to showcasing his jaw line, and Bill Paxton delivers a performance that’s so nauseating, I kept wishing a twister would blow in and sweep him out to sea. The film does look great in high definition, heat is generated in its well-staged battle sequences, and Mostow proves masterful in swinging his camera around the claustrophobic ship. But with dialogue this bad and without ever knowing the men we’re asked to root for, this film, quite simply, sinks. Rated PG-13. Grade C-

“Van Helsing: HD DVD”: As chaotic as it is, “Van Helsing” never wants for energy, it doesn’t take itself seriously, and as a whole, it’s rather fun. Loosely based on Bram Stoker’s stake-wielding character from his 1897 novel “Dracula,” the film gathers several well-known monsters and villains from the past and allows them to go at each other’s undead throats for the better half of two hours. Hugh Jackman is Van Helsing, a swarthy hero multitasking for the Vatican who has been charged to kill Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh, recalling the sort of buckles-and-brocade attire favored by Michael Jackson during his “Bad” period). Drac’s drag is unsettling, yes, but more disturbing is that in order to kill the count, Van Helsing first needs to go through Frankenstein’s Monster (Shuler Hensley), who turns out to be an intellectual softy, and the Wolf Man (Will Kemp), whose bite apparently holds the key to killing Dracula. Who knew? Tossed into the mix is Kate Beckinsale’s Anna Valerious, who sounds like an invasive species of plant for good reason. Onscreen, Beckinsale uncoils like a vine, undulating in ways that would make the folks in a red light district blush. Her rolling Romanian accent gives the film the necessary jolt of camp it needs, but then so do the three shrieking, winged vamps who take to the skies to do Dracula’s dirty work. In a bloodthirsty, dead-three-centuries sort of way, they’re all perfectly charming if a bit high-strung and unmannered, which proves perfect for this empty but entertaining blockbuster, now on HD DVD, which embraces the same qualities. Rated PG-13. Grade: B

Visit www.weekinrewind.com, the archive of Bangor Daily News film critic Christopher Smith’s reviews, which appear Mondays, Fridays and weekends in Lifestyle, as well as on

bangordailynews.com. He may be reached at christopher@

weekinrewind.com.