You know, of course, about the old adage that advises when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. My man Leland Gregory takes it one step further. When life gives him idiots, he writes books. Successful books. Books that sell 200,000 copies or more.

Gregory is a refugee from “Saturday Night Live,” where recognizing idiots has been developed into a fine art. He started his writing career with “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” then added “Idiots in Love” and “Weird History.”

His latest will please you to no end. It is “Idiots in Charge: Lies, Tricks, Misdeeds and other Political Untruths” ($9.95, McMeel Publishing).

Just in time for the political season, our boy Gregory is around to savage anyone and everyone with the weakness to seek political office. Forget about the current inhabitant in the White House. Gregory already did an entire book on W. called “Am-Bushed.”

I must admit I just love Hillary Clinton because she makes Fox News and right-wing cannibals like John Purcell foam at the mouth. Plus, at least she tried (and failed miserably) to establish a national health care system.

She is the Democratic front-runner. Let’s take a look at her. Speaking before the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in May 2006, Hil said, “We have a lot of kids who don’t know what ‘work’ means. They think ‘work’ is a four-letter word.”

And she wants to be my latex salesman?

The other front-runner is Republican Rudy Giuliani, hero of Sept. 11 but married much too often for many conservatives. In an effort to mollify the very right wing, Rudy told the Political Action Conference in March of this year, “We don’t all agree on everything. I don’t agree with myself on everything.”

Hmmm.

Wisconsin’s own Tommy Thompson has been a darling of nut jobs like Purcell for years. When he was appointed head of U. S. Health and Human Services, he advised this country’s enemies: “For the life of me, I can’t understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do.”

Thanks for that from a grateful nation, Tommy.

Thomas Daschle, D-Mars, once told a group of reporters that the components of the ballistic missile defense system endorsed by W. “was not rocket science.” To his credit, he actually paused before he added, “Yes, it is rocket science, now that I think about it.”

Amazing. Gregory doesn’t even have to write. He just reads his daily newspaper and makes a list of idiots, then publishes a book.

Let’s find a Republican to pick on. That shouldn’t be too hard. Let’s try … Rep. Tom DeLay of Texas. Tommy-boy made it to the Astrodome (W. couldn’t find it) after Hurricane Katrina. He said to three bedraggled evacuees, “Now tell me the truth, boys, isn’t this kind of fun?”

Next year, we are going to flood DeLay’s home, force him to evacuate with the clothes on his back and see how much “fun” he is having.

War brings out the best in people. And the worst. Take Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala., you might guess), who said at Bob Gates’ confirmation hearing as secretary of defense that “I talk to those who’ve lost their lives and they have that sense of duty and mission.”

Jeff Sessions, ghost whisperer – and idiot.

Gregory didn’t leave Maine out of his “idiot” list. He mentioned Brunswick council member David Watson, who resigned in January after he sent pictures of topless women in an e-mail to 18 members of an elementary school building committee. The title of the e-mail? “This is National Woman’s Breast Awareness Day. Beats Martin Luther King Day, doesn’t it?”

Good one, Dave.

I like Oscar Goodman, the mayor of Las Vegas. He told one young student in 2005 that his hobby was “drinking.” He told another child that if he found himself stranded on an island he would want “a bottle of gin.” In a press conference the next day, he denied that he had a drinking problem. “Absolutely not. I love to drink,” Goody said.

What’s the problem? Goodman was re-elected with 84 percent of the vote this year. It was Las Vegas, after all.

A town full of idiots.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.